I am so, so sorry to read this.
I am a bird person, and I understand how they can worm their way into your heart, and that they are every bit as intelligent and affectionate as a cat/ dog.
Big hugs. May peanut fly free always. The poem below is by an unknown author, and a dear friend sent it to me when my beloved cockatiel died two months ago- I hope it comforts you too.
“I’ll lend you, for a little while, a bird of mine,” He said.
“For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he is dead.
It may be six or seven years, or maybe twenty-three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief,
You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, as all from Earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this bird to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love – not think this labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again.
I fancied that I heard them say, ‘Dear Lord, thy will be done.’
For all the joy this bird shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.
We’ll shower him with tenderness and love while we may,
And for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay.
And should the angels call for him much sooner than we planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.”
If, by your love, you’ve managed, my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him you’ve loved; be thankful; do not grieve.
Cherish every moment of your feathered charge.
He filled your home with songs of joy the time he was alive.
Let not his passing take from you those memories to enjoy.
“I will lend to you, a Bird”, God said, and teach you all you have to do.
And when I call him back to heaven, you will know he loved you too.