- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Not sure if this should go here but I need some advice and you all were amazing the last time around. Even as I write this, I cringe at how immature it may sound. And I’m beginning to think that Facebook not being mention in the book of Revelation was just an oversight. It very well may be one of the signs of the coming apocalypse. ((Side note I ranted about another ‘friend’ in another thread. I vote the “Post your mini rant” thread be a permanent one.)) Anyway, on with it.
Quick bits of information, our office has a fairly relaxed atmosphere, but there are rules. One is we have internet access, but we are not to be wasting time on it. And absolutely no social networking sites are to be accessed during work hours. Two, just about all of the employees are on Facebook. Most of my ‘friends’ are coworkers; it’s a great way to support outside interests (one guy posts his marathon training milestones, another’s first born has started crawling) And three; our office, like most I assume, has a few people to whom the rules do not apply. Including “Alice” who is related to a member of upper management, as far as I can tell the only reason she was hired. When I started there, “Lisa” was just starting too. We have similar interests and actually became friendly. Until “Lisa” and “Alice” became BFF. They moved into an office together and spend all day giggling and talking. A little annoying, but no big deal. Until about a month ago. One night trying to unwind I pulled up Facebook. And noticed that “Lisa’s” posts had filled the page. She’d been on Facebook for most of the day, reading articles, posting comments, playing games. And yes I was a bit pissed. We had the week from hell work load wise. I was trying to get things caught up before the wedding and was really stressed. Plus I had let them know that I would be leaving so also had to prep for training my replacement. And everyone was overwhelmed. I was one of about six people to send out a mass email begging for anyone with a free minute to please come help! (Side note, all hail Queen “Ruth” who left her own work to spend four hours filing for me. ) And I heard “Lisa” repeated complaining about her own work backing up. A few more days, tons more work, and more of “Lisa’s” non-stop posts. So I ‘unfriended’ her. I’m not usually a head in the sand type person, but I didn’t want to know what she was doing all day while we were working.
Before I took off for the wedding, admin told me they were considering a few people to take my place. “Lisa” was one of them. And there was a reminder about the rules regarding internet access. Then I get back and all hell has broken loose. Everyone has lost internet access, and you have to get approval to have it reset. My supervisor already had mine on for work needs, and played the military wife card to approve access to news sites. “Lisa” was formally reprimanded, was denied internet, and is no longer in consideration for my job. She and “Alice” are no longer friends. (Guess yelling about someone not getting into trouble for the same activity is a way to eliminate the ‘forever’) And she blamed me. I was barely in the office before she confronted me. Ranting about how if I had a problem with her I should have come to her, why would I ‘unfriend’ her, then go tattling to the bosses. I let her rant until she took a breath then mentioned if she had reviewed her friends list looking for who was missing, did she happened to notice that she’d friended her supervisor, his supervisor, and most of the admin staff? She got flustered, snapped a few cruel personal comments then stormed out.
Then yesterday, she sends me an email. While at work. This long, rambling thing about how sorry she is if I was upset with her. How disappointed she is that we’ve drifted apart, even though she knows I was super busy with the wedding. How sorry she is that she didn’t come to the wedding. We have to get together for lunch so she can see all the pictures and hear all about it. Basically an apology that wasn’t an apology, and seemed to push it all off onto me. Then the kicker, she wants me to talk to my boss about maybe reconsidering her for my job. And when I get home, there’s a friend request on Facebook. (I didn’t know you could re-friend someone who deleted you.)
So… My dilemma. I know she could do the job, and do it well, if she focused, which she doesn’t seem to be doing right now. But so could “Ruth” and she is probably the better choice. That email “Lisa” sent while she should have been working is definitely not a way to show dedication. I’m not sure if I should bring the email to my boss’s attention, or if I should tell him that she wants be reconsidered for my job. I’ve thought of telling her that I’ll ask my boss if she can talk to him, but any plea for reconsideration should come from her. I will be looking for a job once we settle in and will want a good recommendation from this one. I kind of need to decide this weekend. As for the friendship, I have no desire to reconnect for various reasons. But part of me thinks I should just suck it up for the next month. Accept the Facebook request, then delete again when I clean house for the move. I’m keeping a few coworkers but will probably drop the rest. Any thoughts?