Post # 1
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
Hi bees
my mother lives out of town so she came to go wedding dress shopping. While my wedding is still a year away she wanted to see the dresses and unless I found the “dream” I would buy at a later time. I found a few I liked and we headed to the last appointent with my mother in law. Long story short she was extremely rude , pushy and aggressive during the process which was a side of her I’d never seen (been with my fiancé for over 7 years). I tried on the last dress which was nice but by no means was obsessed with and was like if you don’t buy this dress I will and I’ll dye it and wear it to your wedding. It got so aggressive and pushy that I started to have an anxiety attack and said yes to a dress I wasn’t sure about. I went home and cried and still this morning I feel so unsettled about the whole experience. I get im an adult and could have stood my grown but i just got so stressed and overwhelmed that I just wanted to get out of there. Now I have a dress that I “like” but don’t love a year from my wedding. I guess I just need to vent and some comforting and advice to feel better about it and accept the situation. The only silver lining was the deal. Originally 3400 and got it for 600.
Post # 2
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
Good grief! What got into the woman?
Ring the shop in the morning and ask for the assistant who worked with you. I’m sure she’ll remember your interesting dynamic and let you cancel that dress, there may be a cooling off period, but I’d try getting her on your side first anyway.
Then resume dress shopping without your fmil. Let her know, casually, that you changed your mind on the dress and don’t rise to any histrionics. Just say that you were never as sure as she was and you want to love your dress not like it, and there’s plenty of time to find it. If she repeats her bizarre threat to buy it, dye it, and wear it to your wedding leave it up to her. Either she chooses to look like a crazy middle aged prom queen or she’ll quietly shelve it when it comes to it.
Phew! What a shocker for you!
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This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by Drizzle.
Post # 3
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
jesais: Can you call the shop back and cancel the dress? You shouldn’t buy a dress b/c someone else was pushing so hard for it. Also, don’t go dress shopping with your future Mother-In-Law anymore.
Post # 4
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
Unfortunately it was a final sale because of the price…. So there is no way to cancel. The dress is the dress I will wear.
Post # 5
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: October 2015 - Haddonfield, NJ
That is such a bummer, bee. Have you talked to your Fiance about it?
I made some decisions based on cost and pressure, and when I finally (after 3 months) told my Fiance about it, he was so sad that I didn’t tell him and he had spent the whole time thinking I was really happy with my decision. Despite what pop culture tells us, I don’t think the dress is the most important part, but you have every right to be happy!
Post # 6
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
jesais: can you sell the dress? I would only get married in a dress I felt amazing in…
Post # 7
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
Wtf? Who does that? I don’t care what I spent on that dress, I would not be bullied into a dress. If you cannot cancle the dress, I would sell it. $600 is a small amount compared to YOU feeling beautiful on YOUR wedding day. You can put it on the classfieds here and start shopping for a new dress (without FMIL).
DO NOT tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you are looking for a new dress. After that exchange she does not get to be included in your choice of dress. She can find out what you’re wearing on your wedding day like everyone else.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by
PBeeWriter.
Post # 8
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
jesais: Try and take it as a learning experience, don’t let anyone else talk you into something you don’t want during the rest of your wedding planning. If you feel the urge to give in remember how this particular situation made you feel and your post on weddingbee.com about it.
Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
Oh that’s awful. I would have felt the same way I’m sure! As the others have said, I would sell the dress and pick the dress I felt amazing in.
Post # 10
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
This is exactly why my Future Mother-In-Law was not allowed dress shopping with me. She is very opinionated and it’s ‘her way or the highway!’
Don’t panic! You got a really good deal so at the very worst, at least you aren’t out $3500. Try to sell it on one of the many wedding dress sites such as…
PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com
StillWhite.com
tradesy.com
OnceWed.com
Ebay
Nearlynewlywed.com
and of course, here on the bee! (Post us a picture and let us see it on this thread too!)
You have PLENTY of time to sell and go shopping for a new dress. DO NOT tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you are looking for a new dress and don’t involve her in any more decisions about the wedding. Like a PP said, don’t say a word and she’ll see your new dress for the first time on your wedding day and won’t be able to pressure you into anything else.
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