- 3 years ago
Have you ever had a friend, even a close friend, become bitter and jealous of your relationship? Have you ever dealt with a really painful friend breakup? How would you handle a situation like this?
I have recently discovered that a close friend of mine has been saying hurtful things behind my back.
To make a long story short, I expressed my genuine concerns over her current unhealthy relationship with an older man that has a lot of red flags besides even the age (she is 21F and he is 32M) and I also confronted her about whether or not she was talking about me behind my back as I had my suspicions. She then proceeded to block me on absolutely everything and not even respond to me, and she also told her other friend to block me.
Another long story short, I spoke to that friend over the phone. We both discovered how she had been talking about us behind our backs saying cruel things.
Ever since this discovery, I have started putting pieces together of snide remarks she would make about me and my relationship. It’s so clear to me now that she struggles with insecurities and jealousy. She would make remarks such as “Oh I would never live with a guy before we are engaged because then he would not have a reason to propose to me” When she knows I live with my boyfriend. Another time she said “I think mature relationships only happen in your 30s” when she knows I am 21 years old in a committed relationship of 3 years. Another time, she said “Oh finally, some conflict between you two” after the one time I told her about a minor argument I got into with my boyfriend. I can’t believe I did not see it before this situation. Hindsight truly is 20/20.
I recently found out another thing she said about me recently, which was that I am not really in love with my boyfriend, which is so ludicrous because he is the most important thing in my life and she knows that. It was shocking to hear and I could not believe it. Right now, she is in an unhealthy relationship with a man 12 years older than her who is a very creepy individual. I was trying to express my genuine concerns to her and now this situation has escalated beyond anything I could have imagined. It hurts a lot to know she could not come to me with this and instead had to find validation through talking about me behind my back to make herself feel better., and how instead of talking to me about things she just chose to block me. Right now we are not on speaking terms but I have a feeling she will come back wanting to be friends again once her unhealthy relationship does not work out, and I don’t know if I should allow her back into my life. I sent her a heartfelt email expressing how much she hurt me so badly and all she responded was to not contact her again. She couldn’t even apologize to me… 🙁
How would you deal with this situation if it were you? Friend breakups are so painful… 🙁