- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
My Fiance recently moved from the united states to Canada to be with me. We have been together for roughly a year. I would fly out there, or he would fly out here, and we would spend a few days together. Of course this days were jammed packed with fun activities, dining, stargazing and savoring every moment with one another before one of us had to get on a plane. It has been an adjustment seeing each other every day, and just the ins and outs of daily life. Generally we have been jiving fairly well, but in living together I have noticed another side of him I have never seen. The first night I saw this, he was working on my car outside. I backed out of the garage and ripped my mirror off (oops)..Anyway apparently it wasn’t going as planned and I could hear him throwing tools around and cussing through the window. I went down to tell him that dinner was ready, and he snapped at me and threw my car mirror on the concrete. I waited for 20 minutes for him to come up. If something does go EXACTLY his way, he loses it. Driving, someone doesn’t signal quickly soon enough, he roars past them in his truck speeding, and cuts them off. At the grocery store, someone is in his way for a little too long, or self-serve is scanning an item, he is cussing and pounding buttons and making a scene. I shrugged all of this off, or would tell him it’s really not a big deal, there are things worth getting upset about but his reactions are not proportional to the issue at hand. Last night was the biggest incident. We went to a movie with another couple who I am friends with, and with my Fiancé being a tall guy, airplane and movie seats are always a challenge. The guy in front of us was leaning his seat back, and taking up a great deal of his leg room. (granted, these seats lean back pretty far. He wasn’t doing anything wrong) He starts sighing loudly and stomping his feet around. I ask my friend who is sitting next to me who has no one in front of her, if she could trade seats with him as he has no room. He gets up abruptly, shoves past me, sits down In his new chair and boots the empty seat in front of him, mumbling something about the guy being a F
P—-. He then asks me loudly, after the movie is done what’s wrong. I say nothing, with which he loudly retorts “Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Obviously not understanding that perhaps a packed movie theatre isn’t an appropriate venue to talk about our feelings. Once we are in the truck, I ask him about his outburst in the theatre and he absolutely comes unhooked on me. He is yelling and carrying on about how I “wasn’t on his side” when the other guy was pushing his chair into his legs and he was pushing back. Then he tripped over his shoelace and had to kick the seat in front of him because he was so frustrated. He then told me that I didn’t have to give him the cold shoulder for the rest of the night and how I am always blaming him, and other people are never doing anything wrong. After punching the steering wheel a few times and screaming at me, he takes a wrong road home because I can’t get a word in to direct him. Now he is infuriated about that too. I am sitting in the passenger seat, shocked. I can feel tears burning in my eyes and my throat aches so fiercely that I don’t think I could have choked out a word if I wanted to. I took a minute to breathe and told him in a low collected voice, that he was never to speak to me in the way again. That would be the first and last time he would ever raise his voice to me. He has apologized profusely, but my god, this has scared the shit out of me. I said yes to marrying a kind, smart, loving man. We have spent weeks together, been through stressful situations, and he has managed to keep a level head. I have no idea where this behavior is coming from, and frankly I am not even sure what to say to him when I see him tonight. Does anyone else have a spouse with a short temper? Is this an indication of worse things to come?
If you have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it!