- 7 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Hi bees, this might be lonng but I need some advice.
Okay so on Facebook (and I dont want to hear how dumb it is to have FB and how drama filled it is because I already know this) but a guy I went to high school with messaged me out of the blue tonight.
I’ll tell you a little background info first. This guy I never talked to, just had a few classes with. My friends made it seem like I was obsessed with him when we were in school because a few of us girls in an all boy class talked one day in class and said who we thought was the cutest, I said this guy. Well afterwards, because they were all just pranksters and what not they all teased me saying that I had a crush, blah blah, and bugged him about me liking him when I didn’t. This of course I just brushed off even though it wasn’t the most pleasent of situations to deal with daily, and I had a serious boyfriend then and he had a serious girlfriend who he is still with.
So, I had become friends, well semi-friends with his girlfriend through mutual friends on FB and talked to her about fashion and what not since we like a lot of the same thing. We have the same interests and all and talk occasionally on each others status’ and I messaged her on FB and asked if she knew of good stores to buy shoes because I was looking for a pair for the wedding. She helped me out and I appreciated her help and thanked her and what not.
Well, also, she went on a trip to the beach a month or so back and posted an upsetting status about how her boyfriend (the guy that messaged me) kissed another girl while she was on vacation. I messaged her asking if she was okay, and told her that if she needed anyone to talk to that she could talk to me, and I truly felt for her.
So tonight, her boyfriend messaged me out of the blue, and was saying how he’s seen how I’ve become friends with his girlfriend and how she helped me find shoes and he thought it was cool that we became friends etc etc. Not thinking, I messaged back saying that I had asked for her help to find shoes and that I was glad that she helped me. When I replied he said that she likes to talk about fashion and what not but that hes not really into it, I said well guys usually arent, he replied that she makes him dress nice yada yada, and I said that most girls do that and that my Fiance would say the same about me. Then he said that my Fiance seems like a good guy and that we seem happy and that hes happy to hear about the wedding, I just said thanks and that my Fiance is an amazing guy and that I’m excited for the wedding.
Up until this point, I really didn’t think anything of it, I thought well he’s just being nice, whatever, I’m just excited that his girlfriend really likes me as a person, I didn’t mean anything flirtatious about these messages as at, I made clear to mention my Fiance and how happy I was (in case he was being flirtatious). But then the last message he sent kind of made me feel weird considering his cheating and everything….
He said something along the lines of : well, I know it was out of the blue but since you’ve been talking to my girlfriend I just thought that I would break the ice and say hi.
Okay?…but why? When I first responded (which now I wish I hadn’t) I really was just thinking about his girlfriend, not him at all, I was happy that she was happy that I asked for her help, innocent converstaion. But now I feel totally awkward, I feel that he was maybe being flirtatious since he said “breaking the ice” and the fact that a guy would message a girl about something like this anyway, if a girl were to become friends with me, no matter what, my Fiance wouldnt message her to say that I was happy we were friends, guys just dont do that, ya know?
So I called my Fiance at work, he was on break, and I told him. He was upset. He thinks that it was flirtatious of him, I explained that I didn’t mean anything by it at all, that I was speaking of her and mentioned the wedding etc. and that he had nothing to worry about and that it made me feel uncomfortable. I also asked my Fiance if I should tell his girlfriend that he messaged me and he thinks I should since he was being flirtatious; my Fiance sees it as flirting coming from a guys POV.
So what do I do? I dont want to cause problems between this guy and his girlfriend, but he cheated on her in the past, and I know me and my Fiance might be reading too deep into it, and that it might be wrong to assume that he was flirting, but if my Fiance were to message this guys girlfriend just because we were becoming friends, I wouldnt feel comfortable and I’m sure she wouldnt either.
So I dont know if I should say something to her since I dont really know her, we’re just aquaintances on FB, or if I should just keep my mouth shut.
I know this seems trivial to most people looking at it, but it’s just weird and caught me off guard. So what do you think? Should I say something to this guys girlfriend who I am becoming friends with, or leave it alone as it seems to be non-flirtatious. What do you see it as?