(Closed) Very uncomfortable/weird situation…what should I do?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

It doesn’t seem flirtatious to me, just sounds like he wants to talk with you since you are friends with his girlfriend. I don’t think it’s something you need to mention to her. If he had said something inappropriate or blatantly hit on you, I would say to tell her for sure. But I don’t think that’s the situation here.

 

However, you’re the one in the situation and you’re the best judge of whether or not something seems skeevy. If you feel like he’s being creepy, don’t message him anymore. Gut instinct is usually right.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

But then the last message he sent kind of made me feel weird considering his cheating and everything….

He said something along the lines of : well, I know it was out of the blue but since you’ve been talking to my girlfriend I just thought that I would break the ice and say hi.

to be honest, going by your description of the conversation im not seeing anything from either one of you that could be deemed as flirting

Post # 8
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

@eloping: This.

It doesn’t seem like he was trying to flirt at all to me.

Post # 9
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Its really not that deep. 

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

OP, most of my friends are male and quite often (even last night) i can be messaged or chatting with them and there is nothing untoward about it and i share it with my husband. i dont tell him every single typed word but i do say “G’s online and says…. “.    if every guy that contacts me was flirting then well, i would be one heck of a popular girl but i know its not that, some of my buddies are lonely (not in relationships) and they know im online so all they are doing is saying hi

Post # 11
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yea to me, it’s not flirting. I think he is just being quickly judged bc of a previous situation that really no one knows the whole story but him and his Girlfriend. You guys sorta knew each other in high school and now you talk to his GF; maybe he’s just wanting to catch up. I have an ex on my friends list and we talk every now and then, maybe 1-2 times a year and there really isn’t much difference between the conversations. We talk about each others SO and what’s going on in life. No biggie.

Post # 12
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@hopefloats: OMG!!! i wanted to say the same thing…but i know i tend to come off the wrong way sometimes! but at least you said it first!!!

This whole situation is just so UNESSECARY. like why did you feel the need to talk to some girl on fb that was dating a guy that you had a crush o in HS? and why messege her when he cheated on her? and why would he messege you trying “to break the ice”…

IMO, you have a beautiful wedding to plan, a whole life ahead of you with an amazing guy. Your Fi and you should not focus on some high school crush and him and his girlfriend FB drama.

Im sorry if this came off the wrong way…im just saying

Post # 13
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@hopefloats: I totally agree.  Why can’t he mean “break the ice” as in open up conversation and a possible friendship.  You “broke the ice” by posting on his girlfriend’s wall or messaging her or whatnot. 

But I also agree with @princesspretti24.  If you immediately jump to “oh my, he’s flirting!!” when you have this simple of a conversation with the guy, then you need to chill out on your Facebooking.  Stop messaging random people if it’s just going to stir up drama– you’re actively reaching out to their relationship by asking her about shoes and what have you.  If you think there’s drama, you shouldn’t be initiating. 

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

ok first off I have to say facebook is only drama filled if you let it be. ( I limit mine to family and very close friends, its the best way to stay in touch with everyone being so spread out). I think this whole thing is crazy. Nothing about it seemed flirty and I thinks its just making a big deal out of nothing. If its going to cause these problems then it might be best to cut the drama out of your life. You dont need it in your relationship

Post # 15
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i don’t think there’s anything that bad about it, but if it’s making you feel uncomfortable then simply ignore it and it will stop. he hasn’t said anything you need to respond to anyway, and who knows what his intentions are behind it, he may be just to say ‘hi’, it may be to see if you would be open to flirting, it doesn’t really matter though because it doesn’t need to go any further.  a few years ago i had a guy at work messaging me that seemed inappropriate, i just totally, completely ignored it and it stopped completely within a few days.  he never mentioned it in person, and perhaps in his head he never crossed a line but because it made me uncomfortable that was how i handled it.

fb can be tricky sometimes! i know!!

Post # 16
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think the potential flirtatiousness of this is totally negated by the fact that you did know the guy in high school. If he was just some strange guy who was dating someone you were sort of friends with, then, yeah, that would be kind of weird. My guess is that this guy is going through a rough time with his girlfriend, and was just sort of feeling you out to see if you were the sort of person he could talk to about it, since you do know both of them. I think its harmless.

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