Very uneven bridal party vs. ushers ?

posted 6 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1247 posts
Bumble bee

Where I’m from, we don’t have ushers so I don’t really see their point. But I’d say wether for not it’s a consolation prize depends how it’s presented. In my personal opinion “you are very important to us and we want you to be part of the wedding, will you be an usher?” Is a bit consolation prizy. But I also think it’s totally fine to have siblings as guests without any special roles.

5 and 7 are not uneven. I thought this was going to be 15 and 2 or something big. I think he should really think why it bothers him. O don’t have 5 friends that are close enough to at and with me. Having 5 best friends is not “not having friends”.

Post # 17
11821 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

m197500 :   I would either have all be ushers/groomsmen or all be groomsmen. I don’t see any reason to distinguish your brothers, who will become family to your fiancé, and certainly not for any misguided notion of “equal numbers.”

Post # 18
8177 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

azallie :  

What weddingmaven said. Also, as your wedding is still  a long way away, I’d stop worrying about it  for now and certainly not make any final decisions. 

Post # 19
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I think it really depends. I have a friend who says she really wants help in any way possible, so I was thinking of asking her to be an usher. Also being a bridesmaid is a LOT of work. I’ve been bridesmaid a few times and each time came with responsibilities and added cost, not to mention a huge time commitment. An usher can just show up 30 minutes before everyone else and then enjoy the rest of the wedding sitting down, with no additional time commitment, no extra costs to wear something specific or get your makeup done in a specific way.

Post # 20
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

azallie :  my husband had a wedding party of 7; and I of 5. it wasnt a biggie at all. 

Post # 21
859 posts
Busy bee

When my sister got married many yrs ago she had me be a “special attendant” (I was 14). She did take me shopping for a dress and purchased one in her main color for me, BUT I felt hurt. It’s like 2nd tiering guestlists. She had both her fiance’s sisters be bridesmaids and his niece (10yrs old) be the flower girl. My sister was her other bridesmaid and my lil brother was their ring boy. I was close to my sister so I definitely felt left out. I don’t allow it to get in the way of our current relationship, but i won’t be able to forget how less than I felt. I would have loved to be a jr bridesmaid. Anyways do what feels right in your heart. Your wedding will come and go, but these relationships are for life (in theory). 

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