- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I want to feel beautiful on my wedding day. Rather, I want to feel the most beautiful I’ve ever felt on my wedding day. I really want to feel like a princess and feel dressed as a princess. I want people who know me to look at me and think, “She is a beautiful princess.” But I fear that instead they’ll say that they’re surprised I didn’t pick more of a princess dress even if they still think I’m pretty. I’m afraid I won’t meet their envisioned expectation of how they thought I’d look. I’m also afraid that I won’t meet my own envisioned expectation of how I’ve always wanted to look.
I’ve always envisioned myself in some glorious princess gown. Though it’s been a blurry vision, the silhouette was always a ball gown. I want to be timeless and elegant with a touch of jaw-dropping gorgeous. I wouldn’t hate to be described as romantic or whimsical either. Haha. Oh man, I feel so incredibly vain, but it’s terrible feeling to put on the wedding dress you’ve purchased and think you look nice, and maybe even pretty, but not feel like you always thought you’d feel. Am I a princess? This is my only shot at trying to look AND feel like one.
At the same time, I feel like there are better things in life I could spend my energy on. But my mind always wanders back to the wedding dress and the let-down feeling I have. Then I get frustrated at myself for being so vain. Vicious circle.