(Closed) Vicious, spiteful Sisters and my wedding (sorry long post but need support)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ibiza1987:  I’m very sorry they have treated you so poorly. I highly recommend not keeping in contact with them.  You said that there was no one to defend you… but you can defend yourself, or at least protect yourself, by not putting yourself in contact with such hateful people.  I know they are your sisters, but they seem to have forgotten it. I really think you need to forgive them and walk away.

Post # 5
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t plan your wedding or your life around other people.  My brother wasn’t able to attend my wedding as he is stationed on the other side of the country, and ya know what?  I still got married, and he didn’t get his panties in a twist about missing it.  No harm, no foul πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can only have a good relationship with them if they are willing to be civil to you.  I commend you for not rising to the bait and yelling back, but you do need to stand up for yourself.  Your sister having her boyfriend come downstairs and berate you is not acceptable and shows that your sister is extremely immature.  I hope that your NYE wedding is amazing.  Focus on the family you are creating with your FH and focus on yourself. Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ibiza1987:  If you find out they have said that, please don’t be afriad to say “I’m sorry my sisters lied to you, but here is what happened…” Enjoy your wedding and marriage!

Post # 11
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Just live your life now and enjoy the heck out of it.  Maybe in the future, might be a long time into the future, you and your sisters will be able to get along, but if not, that is ok as well.  Enjoy your wedding, your life and just be happy that you have a wonderful man.  πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Get away from them.  Not just physically, but emotionally as well.  They both sound like one of my mother’s sisters and her husband.  They are a toxic couple that only feels good about themselves by making a spectacle of themselves or by tearing others down.

Nothing you will do will be good enough.  Any success will either be belittled or ignored.  They will never be happy with you.  Every acknowledgement you get they view as an occasion where they are unfairly overshadowed.

It is not your obligation to make them feel better about themselves by tolerating them attacking you.

Think of it this way… at least they won’t be there to try to ruin your wedding by making it a day about them or spending the time loudly criticizing every effort you have made.

I wish you luck.  Family members like this are awful as distant relatives, I can’t imagine what you are going through with them as sisters.

Post # 14
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@ibiza1987:  I don’t know what to tell you.  Growing up, I learned from a pretty young age without having to be told that there was obviously something about themselves that they didn’t like.  People like that for some reason don’t love themselves so they can’t project love to anyone else.  I don’t get it, but if I had to choose between being like that or encountering people like that, I would choose to have the unpleasant encounters.  Just keep your head up and try to limit contact as much as you can.

If it’s any consolation, I think their friends (who are sane) probably see what’s going on.  My uncle was far worse than my aunt, and who knows what they pair of them said about my parents, my other aunt and uncle or myself and my cousins, but his family was always very polite to us, so I think they probably figured it was at the least overblown and at the worst an outright lie.

Sane people will most likely come to this realization with time, and the insane people… well don’t worry what they think!

Post # 16
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think the with boyfriend it’s a monkey-see, money-do response.  My cousins from the aunt and uncle in question were okay when we were younger, but gradually as we got older they became just as spiteful and shallow as their parents.  It’s unfortunate because we actually could have been friends like with our other cousins, but like you said, you can’t pick your family.

We had the big party because of all the family, and it was fine.  I can’t say definitively that it was us, because we both knew going in that we would end up having a big wedding, but it is what it is and all we really cared about was the day after the wedding.

I think it’s terribly romantic that y’all are getting married with a small intimate group of friends on New Years Eve.  I think it’s wonderful– the excitement of bringing in a new year and this year you’re celebrating a new year with the anticipation of a new life together.  So forget them, because they’re missing out on that.  As a self-proclaimed sucker for Christmas and wintertime, I love this time of year– (almost) everyone’s nicer, there’s this wonderful reflection on the past year and excitement for the future.  And you get to experience it with your Fiance without all the drama getting in the way.

I remember sitting down at the table with Darling Husband during the reception and saying “nice to see you, I feel like I barely spoke to you all week.”  You’ll have your good and your bad no matter what type of wedding you end up with.  So don’t mourn for what isn’t, but celebrate what is!

I’m excited for you.  It sounds like you have a wonderful man who is concerned about your happiness to suggest doing something for the two of you to eliminate your major stressors.  And you seem like a wonderful woman of character and no siblings can take that away from you regardless of what they say.

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