(Closed) Video game ruining our marriage..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wonder if OP ever fixed their issue since its been a year. ;/

Post # 78
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@206:  we are both gaming addicts so it really works for us. He has skyrim and I have rift or w/e game I am addicted to at the time. We met while playing an online game. However, abouta week ago, my Fiance got mad at his addiction and boxed up his computer. Now he is bugging the crap out of me every night. Cutting into my game time. And I get where he is coming from but at the same time, gaming is just more fun to me than laying on the couch watching a movie. 

We do have one rule though, when one of us is ready to go to bed the other one goes too. We do not go to bed at different times. I think I would hate it if we did that.

You guys need to sit down and come up with some rules together. For example let him play his game 3 times a week for 3-5 hours (because honestly, 2 hours is not enough, you can’;t get stuff done in 2 hours) and then make 4 days a week about you guys. Cook dinner together, talk, watch movie, read books etc etc. 

Please don’t ban his gaming completely though. 

Post # 79
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Darling Husband is obsessed with video games. I dont like them and dont play them. Twice a week is “beer and game night”. He sits downstairs playing with a few beers and i go upstairs to catch up on some of my tivo recordings or to read. The only thing that bugs me is when he starts explaining the game in detail to me…i find it incredibly dull and i dont dare ask any questions or ill be bombarded with lengthy explanations forever!

candy crush is the only game for me 🙂

Post # 80
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@206:  My man is a HUGE Gamer…he plays Diablo, beaten it numerous times…call of duty…all the time etc.  When we first started dating 4 years ago, I would literally come home from work and sit next to him for 2 to 3 hours while he played call of duty.

I use to get SOOO Mad!  Let me tell you there is NOTHING you can do to make him stop or want to stop without looking like a controlling nazi that is trying to take away his “hobby” and “the time he always looks fwd to everyday”…think of it like how you like talking to your g/fs on the phone everyday…you look forward to it…it keeps the day exciting and puts you in a good mood…thats how these guys look at video games.  I have some suggestions for you that Made my man stop playing when I was around him completely.

#1  When he is playing the video games, do not be in the same room.  Either go somewhere(leave the house to run errands, see a friend, or go to another room) Repeat do NOT give him the satisfaction that you are going to just sit there while he is playing video games.  This will make him realize he needs to spend time with you, bc U R NOT next to him…This is very important to make him realize he is spending too much time not with you.  Let him figure it out this way:)

#2 Do NOT have intercourse with him after he has been gaming all day/night and not spending time with you.  Guys think they can not spend time with us, play games all day then come snuggle with us for 2 minutes to have sex…Um NO.  If he won’t spend an hour or 2 with you, spending quality time…say you are tired, or your not in the mood.  He will again realize on his own, him playing video games all day and not putting in time with you is making you not want to love on him and this will make him decrease.

I promise these two things will help so much.  The key is not telling him to stop playing or acting like his mother saying he needs to cut back, but letting him figure it out on his own. That his actions will affect the way you feel.:) & that you have things to do too, so if he is gonna play video games you are gonna go do “your thing” without him too 🙂

Post # 81
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@206:  Oh I feel for you, I really do. I have a friend who lost her husband to video games. It took A LOT of effort to pull him out of it. Keep voicing your opinion. Make him hear you before it’s too late!

Post # 82
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@206:  I say find your own hobbies and when he does beat that game make him jump through the hoops for your time like he is making you …. he will beat the game … he will want sex and when he does go sorry i busy tonight 

 

i know thats likely not the most grown up way but i would outright stop doing he little thigns that make life go smooth like the dishes and the clothes … and say if he got so much time to play the game and no time for sex … then buy a sex toy and have your fun and when he wants it say well i already got mine maybe 2moro if u want to when i feel like it missed the boat today 

 

i mean i dont mean do it to get back at him just to show an example dont not have sex with him to get back at him dont have sex with him when he feels like it and tell him …. well you didnt want to when I did u havnt in months if you wont make our sex life on the top of ur list or least on the top part of the list i wont either … its a 2 way street …. and dont do the lil things wash ur dish ur fork your knife your clothes go join a dance class or something fun and have some fun and let him pick up the slack 

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