Post # 1
I’m in a bit of a pickle. My fiance is vietnamese and I am American. We both have decided that doing a tea ceremony before our western ceremony/vow exchange would be great and keep her culture alive. If anyone of you are familiar with the tea ceremony and the red gift trays, you would be very helpful. I would like to do a little research myself before talking with the parents.
What exactly goes in the 6 red trays?
I have found that they include fruits, cookies?, alcohol, Sticky rice?
Any help would he great. Thanks!
Post # 2
I’m Vietnamese and have been to a few of the ‘receiving the bride at her house’ events for my family members. We are not doing any of these for our wedding, as my parents didn’t really want to do it, even though it’s part of their culture. We are instead wearing ao dai (Vietnamese dresses), changing into them during cocktail hour so we can see family and take some pictures, and then changing back into our ‘normal’ wedding attire for the rest of the reception. A bunch of my cousins have done this for their own Vietnamese-American weddings and we felt it still honors the culture and my family without changing much.
This article has the gifts listed in the ‘receiving bride at her house’ section:
Post # 3
first tray is betel leaf and areca nuts. second tray is fruits ( any 5 diffrent kind fruits) , third tray is tea or wine or both. fouth tray is cookies, fifth tray is sticky rice and boiled whole chicken (they skip this tray nowaday). last tray is your wedding ring or any gift to bride.
Post # 4
I am Chinese and my husband is Vietnamese, and we had a Vietnamese tea ceremony with both families. I had never been to a tea ceremony. I had no idea what to do and no one really told us before the ceremony. Luckily, it went well. My in laws lit incense, my Father-In-Law said something brief, then we had someone call each of our parents, grandmothers, aunts and uncles up to give us red envelopes and/or jewelry. Cousins brought out trays of tea each time and I think that was it. There were a couple trays on the table with some gifts my Mother-In-Law put together and handed out later. I’m not sure what they were. I don’t think we had six red trays. My in-laws took care of everything so we didn’t need to worry about figuring out the traditions.
Post # 5
Thank you for all the input. I have decided 7 Trays. 6 Trays of gifts that include 1 tray of betal leaves and nuts, 2 trays of fruits, 1 tray of alcohol, 1 tray of cookies, 1 tray of maybe more sweets or sticky rice and the 7th tray will be the tea set that includes gift from my parents and jewelry.
Anymore advice or things that should be included would be great.
Thanks again everyone.