View of dating from the other side

posted 7 months ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
4257 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

DH and I met as teens, so I don’t have any experience dating as an adult. I think if I had to date now, I’d be really bad at it. I have some friends who are single and dating, and it just seems like so much work. When I was younger – say college – it might’ve been fun… meeting guys at bars or in class, dating, even random hookups – but at this point in my life? I can’t imagine where I would even start.

Now falling in love? That was fun. DH still gives me butterflies, but the excitement and chills and passion when you first fall for someone – it’s like a drug. That I could totally do again (if I weren’t, ya know, happily married!). I’m always happy for other people when they meet someone they really seem to love. 

Post # 32
Member
382 posts
Helper bee

I loved dating! I am definitely happier where I am now, and wouldn’t give that up for anything but there are definitely parts of dating I miss. Like the feeling you get when a guy you really like, but who you aren’t sure likes you back, calls you. It was so thrilling! 

I definitely look back now and realize that I made my relationships a lot more difficult than they needed to be. I was really scared to put myself out there, and looking back I want to bonk younger me on the head and say “He obviously feels it too! Make a move dummy!” I think the combo of gaining confidence and being in a relationship where I am able to say what I feel whenever I feel it has changed me a lot. Hindsight is definitely a strange thing. 

Post # 33
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Didn’t really have much experience and I don’t feel like I am missing out. If I had to do it all over, I don’t think I would be “putting myself out there”. I would get a puppy and travel and if someone came my way, great. If not, that’s fine too.

But at the same time, who the hell knows? You can’t tell for sure until you are in that position. I hope I won’t ever have to find out.

Post # 34
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

right before i met my husband, i completely changed my outlook on dating.  had i not, i would have gone on one date with him and then ignored his calls and missed out on an amazing guys because he didn’t meet certain criteria and image of what i was expecting.

i was so glad i listened to my mom….

Post # 35
Member
3206 posts
Sugar bee

I HATE dating…uggh…I would not be able to hang if I was single. Sex by the 3rd date expectations, 100% texting relationships, the uncertainty, the getting to know you, the games, having to weed through the crazies, the people you just don’t click with, etc…*barf*

If my man and I broke up, I would probably stay single for a very, very, very long time at minimum. I have a headache just thinking about ‘those days’.

Post # 36
Member
3206 posts
Sugar bee

ajillity81 :  This! He wasn’t ‘my type’ at first. The old me would have not given him a chance after the first date.

Post # 37
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

Hated dating before, would hate it again if I had to do it over. I’d just stay single, luckily for me I don’t mind being single and don’t feel the “need” to be in a relationship. I was also raised by a single mom, so no pressure that one “shouldn’t be alone.” Ugh, gives me the heebie-geebies just thinking of dating again. 

Post # 38
Member
818 posts
Busy bee

I only dated two guys before meeting and dating SO. One was in High School and the other towards the beginning of college. Both guys (while I somewhat enjoyed them) I knew I had no desire to ever settle down with. For many people, that’s fine. They like the fun of the company. And I’m not even a super marriage minded person, honestly. But I hate commiting time to something that amounts to nothing. If it happens, sure. But if I KNOW it’s going to amount to nothing in the end? It’s irritating to me. I’d rather be single, casually flirting, etc. However, I met my current SO when I was 19. We started as friends within the same friend group and it just started evolving without even discussing it. At one point I was so shocked and smitted by how well rounded, mature, calm, and collected her was for a 19 year old. He seemed so much of a man at that time and it stunned me that someone of that age could be so, well, intelligent. Even at 19 I could see that he had a better understanding of life than people even 7 years older than him. So I was falling hard and fast for him. Before I knew it, I was heavily thinking, “What if we don’t agree politically? What if he believes in God? What if we just don’t mesh as well as I think?” 

Only to find days later we randomly discussed those things (with lot’s of alcohol, as most heavy subjects begin with) and completely agreed on those things. At one point I remember him saying, “I could seriously hug you right now for how refreshing you are.” From that moment on, despite us both not wanting to be in a relationship in college, we started dating. 

And I have never had an ounce of regret. We experienced everything we could in college both together and with friends. Rather than our relationship alterating the experience, it made it that much better. 

I hated dating and have no patience hearing about it from friends. So I image I’d hate it just as much as I think I would (especially now, with crap like Tinder). Too many horrible guys exist out there that I don’t have the patience to sort through. I’ve found an amazing keeper and I’m keeping him:)

Post # 39
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Sunshine09 :  Thank God I don’t have to date again…. *shudder*

My relationship with my husband was sorta like a dead end too – I absolutely had enough of dating and just could not do it all over again..I had total 4 long term relationships including my husband. A series of 5 years -> 3 years -> 2 years -> by 1 year with my husband and I was completely over it at that stage… and I was already 30 by the time I started feeling nauseous merely at the idea of starting a new relationship.

Luckily I loved my husband and I could see future with him, and my husband proposed at 10 months and we got married at 1.5 yrs…I didn’t push him to get married. I just simply said yeah I think we can get married and my parents gave a yes and we were engaged then married. 

Post # 40
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

So funny, my FI and I were sort of talking about this yesterday. More about Tinder and how its so obnoxious and we laughed how we are so glad we don’t have to deal with any of it. Dating, yeah, no thanks its nice knowing I don’t have to.

Post # 41
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

Sunshine09 :  Haha yes, since the beggining I have my standards already, and didnt settle for less. DH doesn’t believe in “dating” as well. We thought it’s a waste of time 😀 

Post # 42
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Cottage

I hated dating. I was so happy when I found DH. I knew I was done. So happy we are now married. 😍

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