(Closed) Virgin bride terrified of wedding night

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 32
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m with everyone else…take it slow the first time! Don’t just jump to the sex…I’d do lots of foreplay. 

I personally prefer KY Yours and Mine…it feels AMAZING!! Laughing (Just saying…lol)

Post # 33
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@kt23525: Your friend’s advice is good in theory, but doesn’t work for everyone…

Post # 34
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d actually say that while you have your two glasses of wine, try to see if DH will be sure to stop after just a few drinks too! It’ll be easier for him to be gentle and attentive if he’s not hammered ๐Ÿ™‚

Also really don’t stress if it winds up not happening at all. We crawled into bed at 6.30 am the morning after our wedding, and I think we didn’t so much as kiss each other until the following night, we were so wrecked! Are you going on honeymoon directly after the wedding, or at least a mini-moon? That would give you a very good excuse to stay in bed together for a couple days and explore!

Best of luck!

Post # 35
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Before I had sex for the first time, I was scared to death because everyone had told me how much it would hurt. I was picturing myself doubling over in pain and covered in blood.

That hardly happened.

For me, it was just sort of uncomfortable, not painful. 

Here are a few tips:

  • Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay: The worst thing you can do is just jump into it. Spend some time kissing, caressing, messing around, and THEN do the deed. If you do it this way, it will come naturally.
  • I have never really needed lube, but have it on hand in case you do. 
  • Just remind yourself that this is your HUSBAND. He’s not judging you; he loves you with all of his heart, and he’s probably just as anxious as you are about it. 
  • Take it slow. Your body isn’t used to being penetrated in such a way, so ease into it.

It’s going to be an amazing experience; don’t be nervous about it!

Post # 36
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If you use tampons/ ever rode horses there’s a good chance your hymen is no longer an obstacle. Just sayin!

Post # 37
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@aunt pol: Very true for so many girls, especially if you exercise a lot!

Post # 38
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@peaches13: that’s what I was thinking – DH actually said that’s what we should do but I said no, lol. Plain ole missionary for us the first time. I just had to tell him whether it felt good or not. For me, the first time on top was not the most comfortable – I couldn’t figure out how to move and he kinda felt like he was punching my uterus, hahahah terrible description I know ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 39
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

oh yeah, and make sure you are either on birth control or have condoms (and know how to use them)

on that, what brand/type does everyone use? I’ve been on BC pills for the whole grand month of our marriage, but since I had to take a ‘break’, we need to use alternate bc until I’ve been back on the pills for a few days.

Post # 40
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We tend to use any of the durex range, the ultrathin ones, I think they’re called, seem to be fine. Silly birth control! Obviously I’m very glad it exists and is affordable, but sometimes it seems like a nuisance!

Post # 41
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@aunt pol: ugh! I’ve been trying to use the packs continuously, but I swear, the pill makes me way more regular than I ever was – 4 weeks and I start spotting. Dr. has said to take pills through it (yeah, I’ve gone up to 10 days and it doesn’t get better), and I doubled up a couple times which works for a couple days. Poor DH hasn’t gotten any in over a week now, but alas, there is light at the end of the week…provided he mans up and goes and buys condoms, haha.

Sorry for the slight threadjack.

Post # 42
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: Lol I’d say if it’s a choice between a little red-faced shopping and no nudie cuddles he’ll make the right decision! Funny how embarrassed they get, I usually have to buy ours!

Post # 43
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: Yeah, we did the same for the first time.  Our attempts at other positions have not been successful thus far…hopefully we’ll get more practice in once I’m over this darn bug.

Post # 44
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@peaches13: yeah I know it’s boring, but missionary is def becoming my favorite. I just think it’s so sexy – DH has such sexy, sexy shoulders and upper body, I like to see it work ๐Ÿ˜‰ We’ve tried a few other positions with comical results, although girl on top has been kind of fun.

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@aunt pol: oh yeah, I know he will – he mentioned going and getting them tomorrow. In the future I’ll probably end up doing it, but I had to buy the lube and I had to go to the Dr. and get asked all sorts of fun and personal questions and (since she was nice and didn’t make me do the exam before the wedding), get to be poked and prodded when I go to refill my prescription. So I told him he has to do this!

Post # 45
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@peaches13: also hoping you get better soon ๐Ÿ™ being sick in the summer (or anytime I suppose) is no fun.

Post # 46
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: “make sure” that you are on birth control or condoms?

Why would you assume that she *doesn’t* want to get pregnant the first time?

Not everyone thinks that a baby is virus that needs to be “protected” against!

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