(Closed) Virgin soon to be newlywed..clueless about birth control..advice?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
420 posts
Helper bee

As others have said, you can make an appointmen with your doctor or OBGYN. Personally I would not recommend hormonal birth control options; you could use a condom instead and won’t need to worry about the three monhs prior. 

Post # 18
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@katiecat08:  If you can get in before you start that’s fine – you usually start the pill the Sunday after your last period, so that would give you time to fill the prescription, but you can start on any day, really. The first few months you might have breakthrough bleeding (spotting) as your body adjusts, but it should be effective almost immediately in terms of preventing pregnancy.

I agree with PPs – start with the pill. If you have a bad reaction, you can always stop taking it, where the shot will stay in your system.

You really should see a gyno before you get married, anyway, so you have one set up in case you have any problems once you’re sexually active. 

Post # 19
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@katiecat08:  BCP you would start after your period is over, so first day with no period you start the pills.  That’s what I did anyway, some people do a Sunday start time but I would find it weird to do that when your period is over a Tuesday or Monday.  I think IUD is best to be inserted during your period (it’s easier on you at least).  Depends on what you want.

Post # 20
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@katiecat08:  Try to go before you start because they usually have you start a pill pack the Sunday after your last period.

I’ve been on the pill since I was 17 due to ovarian cysts. Its a low dose pill and I’ve always liked it. I will admit though that there are certain generics of my pill that I prefer not to take because I get horrible side effects with them. However, once you find one that works, this generally isn’t an issue.

My sisters have tried the shot and they have both said they would never do it again. I havent heard a ton of positive feedback so I wouldn’t necessarily say to try that first.

It all depends on you and your preferences but since it sounds like you don’t know a ton about any of your options, going to the doctor (regular or a gyno) will be really helpful for you. There are a lot of options and you need to think about what is best for you: Will it be difficult to take a pill every day at the same time, would you rather not have to worry for a few months at a time. Those are things to consider. 

Post # 21
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@katiecat08:  Well you can always use condoms!

Post # 22
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@katiecat08:  Go to your doctor prior to your period.  Make sure you have a long discussion about what type you are going on and know what can happen. 

Also, if you find yourself more emotional around your period this can be a reaction to certaint types of birth control.  I had bad emotional reactions and switched birth controls and have that under check now. 

Also, even being on the pill, having your FH wear a condom is not a bad idea.  Taking as directed, birth control is pretty effective, but using a condom can make up for any mishaps. 

Post # 23
982 posts
Busy bee

@katiecat08:  The shot is depo provera. I had a workmate who used to get it and she LOVED it. But I don’t recommend purely for the fact that if you have negative side effects (like if it gives you migraines), you’re stuck with it until it wears off. It’s not like the pill that you can just stop taking or the implant you can just get taken out. You just never know how your body is going to react to hormones until you try.

I recommend making an appointment with your doctor to discuss different options. I personally have tried many different pills – since 16 years of age to stop ovarian cysts and try to reduce my period pain. There would be negatives with each one (loss of libido – this was only from 18 upwards when I became came sexually active), and would try different ones but would find my period pain was worse. With the pill, you need to take it at the same time every day, and the effectiveness can be reduced if you get sick (diarrhea, vomiting etc). I would always use condoms with this form of birth control.

I have also tried Implanon – the contraceptive implant the goes in the underside of your arm. That was brilliant in reducing my pain, but the bleeding was very irregular until I was bleeding all the time. The bonus is that it is effective all the time regardless if you get sick or not.

I now have Mirena which is a small T shaped plastic device that goes into your uterus, and it has been the best thing I’ve ever tried. I don’t get periods or pain, and my libido isn’t affected. It is not generally indicated for women who haven’t had children – but these days more and more are getting them because they’re so effective. The hormones are delivered right where they need to be. 

Of course, there are failure rates asscoiated with every form of birth control, nothing is 100% effective. But have a chat to your doctor and see what is suitable for you. Good luck!

Post # 24
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

1) Educate yourself about your options — there is a LOT of information available online. Even just googling “birth control types and efficacy” will get you good results.

2) Make an appointment with your GP or find a gyno ASAP. Do not wait to make the appointment, as it can take some time to get you on the calendar

3) Discuss the options that you liked during your research and ask the opinion of your medical provider. Get a prescription.

4) In the meanwhile, use condoms if you’re going to have sex. Quick, easy, clean, and safe! Some people use them exclusively.

5) Be prepared that if you choose to use hormonal birth control, you may not find a method that works well for you or is free of unpleasant side-effects right away. Don’t be afraid to try something else. As I said, there are A LOT of options. Hormonal methods are not your only options (copper IUD, condoms, charting/FAM) if you struggle with them.

Post # 25
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@katiecat08:  You can go to your dr. / Planned Parenthood any time except when you have your period. With a hormonal IUD, you can’t have had sex between your last period and when it’s inserted (they have to be 100% sure you’re not pregnant). I have the mirena because my periods are really heavy (copper iud’s cause heavier flow) and my schedule is wierd so I can’t take daily pills. 

You need to talk to your doctor for the pros and cons of each for your own health history. I also recommend using several different forms of birth control (hormonal + barrier) if you really cannot be pregnant, because each additional form of BC decreases the odds you’ll get pregnant, statistically speaking. 

Post # 26
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am going to have to agree with

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You are essentially added a new element to your body — there is no way to know how your body will react.  From personal experience and hearing some of my personal girl friend stories, there is always some form of reaction being experienced when going on the birth control.  Reactions vary, but they tend to be mood change (usually not for the best) and weight gain (don’t be surprised to see something in the 15 to 30 pound weight gain).  I have had one friend that experienced horrible migraines because of it. 

I personally have been on the pill in the past.   The last go around I not only gained weight but I found myself emotionally unstable — smallest things pissed me off, which is totally not like me. 

Honestly, I understand your fear of getting pregnant… so use a condom and pull out method.  This is what my Fiance and have been doing for the last 1 1/2.  Also helps to know your cycle and when the high risk days are. 

Just my two cents.  Good Luck!


Post # 27
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just see your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor go to a clinic like planned parenthood. The clinicians there are much better equipped to answer all your questions. I’d suggest making an appointment ASAP, regardless of where you are on yoru cycle, or ask the receptionist what’s the best time to schedule the appointment. You’ll get a lot of misadvice on the internet.

Post # 28
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@katiecat08:  When I got on birth control, it was as easy as going to my normal doctor and getting a prescription. It does not necessarily have to be more involved than that (your doctor may want to do a pelvic exam or blood work and will ask about family history, whether you smoke, etc). It’s up to you to decide what is most important for you in birth control; back then, for me, it was most important that it stop my periods, now it’s important that I not have to take a pill every day so I’m on the ring. 

You have several options. I assume you mean hormonal birth control, but there are condoms, female condoms, and spongrs/diaphragms (spelling?). Obviously there is the pill, which you take every day. There are many different brands and hormone concentrations, and what works for one woman may not work for another. 

There is the NuvaRing, which only comes in one brand. It goes in the vagina, you can leave it in during sex, and you only deal with it twice a month- when you put it in our take it out. 

The patch is similar, but you stick it on you in a certain place, and I can’t remember if you change it weekly or monthly. I’ve heard stories of it wanting to peel off or wanting to stick really hard, but I really don’t know. 

There’s an IUD, which can be hormonal or non-hormonal (copper). They usually last several years but have a large up-front cost. They can be removed at any time by your doctor. 

There’s the shot, which you get every three months. The biggest disadvantage is if you don’t like it, you have to just deal with it. Of all methods, I seem to hear the most negative things about this one. There’s also the implant, which is a matchstick-sized implant they put in your arm. My friend has it and loves it because it lasts three years but they made her try the shot first. 

Really, the best advice I can give is figure out what’s important to you. Do you want to skip your period or keep it? Can you remember  to take a pill every day, or would you prefer something more long-lasting? Are you okay with needles, or inserting/having something inserted into your vagina, or do you want something less invasive? Planned Parenthood’s website has a neat little quiz you can take and they give you their reccommendations on the birth control they think will work for you. Of course it may be a trial-and-error process because no one knows how your body will react to hormonal birth control until you try it. 

Post # 30
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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I agree. I am always appalled and dismayed when people do not know anything about sexual health.

I was on Depo and it made me fat. I was on The Pill and I ended up getting a tumor in my liver.

Hormonal birth control can cause many problems.

Post # 30
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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katiecat08:  Maybe I’m late for this…

Definitely talk with your doctor about the options. 

From my experience, I have been on Nuvaring, and I LOVE it because I don’t have to remember to take pills at the same time every day (I am just not good at that sort of thing). So I highly recommend that. Also, it uses a lower concentration of hormones than pill birth control so it has less effects on your overall hormones, mood changes and whatnot. So that’s a bonus as well. Ask your doctor about it!

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