(Closed) virgin “stretching herself?”

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve heard of doing it to prepare for childbirth, so I don’t see why not!

Post # 4
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

For me at least, the discomfort wasn’t due to his penis fitting in, it was due to my hymen breaking. I think that’s probably true for most women. The vagina is pretty “stretchy” on it’s own, it ‘doesn’t need stretched out.


Losing your virginity won’t be as painful as you are probably imagining it to be. Just take it slow and have plenty of foreplay.

Post # 5
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah the hymen is the part that really hurt for me.  The rest stretches on its own when you are turned on and take it slowly.

Post # 6
47340 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 Vaginas do not need stretching. Discomfort can be caused by trension and stress – the muscles surrounding the vagina tighten up, or by lack of lubrication.

The hymen is not a complete barrier to the vagina. It is a membrane that has a hole- that is how menstrual blood gets out.

Many women enlarge this hole long before they become sexually active by the use of tampons etc, practice of sports or masturbation.

Although it can cause slight discomfort and some bleeding, the hymen is not the source of a lot of pain.

Post # 8
7934 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ew- ha ha.  Yeah- only the hymen needs to be addressed.  The vagna will be fine- use lube.

Post # 9
47340 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@red_rose: yes, you can stretch the hole in the hymen ahead of the first intercourse.

As I said, many women do it inadvertently with tampons or through sports like horseback riding.

Post # 10
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

The hymen breaking also hurt the worst for me.  I had been a tampon only girl for years, and it didn’t really do much as far as ‘stretching’ it goes.  You can if you want to, but i really wouldn’t worry too much.  It’s not so painful that you really need to be overly concerned.

I waited till I got married to have sex and it hurt for the first few times, but now things are great. 😉  Really, it’ll be ok!!  It’s more pressure than pain, but if you are lubed up and ready, you’ll be fine. 

Just take it slowly the first few times and don’t try to have a sex marathon the first few weeks.  Once a day or once every two days was plenty for us when we were just getting started, because I needed time to let my hymen heal from breaking.

Take old underwear along with you (I’ve passed this info around on the boards before), because for me, I bled quite a bit and it was helpful to wear old underwear I didn’t care much about for the first few days.  I also found an ice pack helpful for the first day afterwards.

Post # 11
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I did not find it to be painful at all.  I think we did twice the first time and I don’t remember needing to wait after or anything like that.

Post # 12
569 posts
Busy bee

@red_rose: i would suggest popping your own cherry with a dildo. i would use an average sized one, probably 6 inches long and not too thick

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