(Closed) Virgin- Worried if I cant orgasm like other girls.

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

Your friends are misinformed, very very misinformed. 

If you want to know how to orgasm you should start practicing on your own prior to your wedding. Knowing what you like and what works will make your sex life that much better. 

Post # 5
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your friends are very, very wrong.

That said, you will most likely not orgasm the first few (or more) times you guys have sex.  You guys are going to have to learn what works for each other and what doesn’t and it will be a bit awkward at first (aka not so condusive for orgasms).

I second the PPs advice to start learning by yourself what turns you on and makes you orgasm before the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

While, I am waiting for marriage as well to give myself to my husband, It is certainly possible to have an orgasim 😉

From what I have heard, Most problems seem to be that just having intercourse with their partners does not give the female an orgasm. Manual or oral stimulation is typically needed of the clitoris to achieve climax. Its something definitely personal and takes time to know what makes you tick and how to involve it in your intimate times!

 

Post # 7
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You can have an orgasm your very first time having sex – no waiting for five years!

There really isn’t anything that can guarantee you an orgasm, but I’ve heard (and believe) that regular moderate to vigorous exercise helps increase blood flow to your lady parts. You can also practice doing Kegel exercises, which will also strengthen your muscles down there and help increase your chances of  the big O. The easiest way to explain how to do a Kegel is to squeeze the muscles you would use to stop peeing mid-flow.

Finally, just get some KY (or any other water-based lubricant) and take things into your own hands. I personally wouldn’t recommend a vibrator just yet though (overstimulation can make it harder to orgasm when you don’t have the vibration), just explore yourself and see what feels good. Then you can share your discoveries with your soon-to-be husband!

Post # 8
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Eva Peron:This exactly

while your friends are wrong about the 5 year rule, i personally have never had and orgasm from strictly having sex but other stimulations can get me there rather quickly. Nothing wrong with a little practice on your own to see what works for you. Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I have to say that I also think your friends are quite misinformed!!  We both were virgins when we got married and both of us orgasm from sex, as well as other types of stimulation.  Sometimes it’s easier if he gets me off first manually, then I usually have an easier time having a second one during actual sex.  If we skip that, though, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

It takes practice and time to get to know each other’s bodies and how they respond to different positions and types of stimulation.  Enjoy practicing and getting to know what pleases the other person!  I find I have the best sex when I’m focusing on pleasing him, and when he’s focused on pleasing me.

Post # 11
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@totheislnds: I agree with the both of them.

I have trouble with this sometimes and only twice ever have I had the big O from sex alone. 

Post # 12
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Do your friends otherwise make fun of you for waiting until you’re married?  It sounds to me like your best chance to O is to find new friends asap.

Btw, contrary to popular belief, a woman’s brain is her most important erogen zone.  Worrying about whether you will be able to O is most likely setting yourself up for failure.  You need to be able to let go.

Post # 13
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@al1988: Oh and if he is going to manually stimulate you, have him put lube on his fingers!!  Dry fingers down there = OUCH!!  We like the KY Liquid (not gel) and it’s really silky feeling.  If you’re on birth control, you may be a little drier down there (at least I am), even if you feel aroused, so the lube helps supplement that… and it’s a lot better! 😉

Post # 14
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Where the heck did your friends get that ridiculousness from? lol

My first parnter was never able to give me an orgasm, we were together for two years. We were also so very young and were never in the best situations to be intimate.

 My Boyfriend or Best Friend (now) and I have been together for over 3.5 years so we’ve had much practice 🙂 and I’m happy to report my hun knows my body like an XBox controller, lol. Can you say multiple orgasms each time?! ahhh.

Post # 15
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Riki_Bay: lol @ the xbox comment!  

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