(Closed) Virtual hug please, I feel scared….

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

weightwatchers152:  Oh honey huge hugs to you. I so sorry that you have to deal with all this but at least you got a lot of information and know what you need to do next. If you go ahead with the surgery, is there any way they can schedule it soon enough that the recovery time would be well before the weddings you are in?

Post # 3
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

So sorry you’re going through all of these things! I can only imagine how scary and frustrating this must all be.

The good news is that you have a team of doctors looking out for your best interests. Pregnancy is no picnic even when completely healthy, and you want to be in the best health to ensure the best for you and your future baby.

Surgery is so nerve wracking, but instead of focusing on the fear, try your hardest to focus on the positive outcome of the surgery. You will finally be one step closer in being able to truly TTC without fear of complications the cyst can cause. Everytime you feel scared, find a mantra that will help you to focus on the end goal…beautiful baby in your arms. 

Post # 4
Member
570 posts
Busy bee

weightwatchers152:  I’m sorry you are having such a hard time with TTC.  I have to admit I don’t know a lot about your specific conditions but I know they are able to do more and more surgeries laparoscopically now.  Hopefully they could take the cyst out that way if that’s what it comes to.  The recovery time is much faster.  Also, my cousin just had a cyst go away on it’s own so maybe your body will still take care of it for you.  I would listen to the fertility specialist about getting the cyst taken care of first.  When is your appt with the oncologist? 

I’ve had surgery so I know how scary it is.  Telling myself it wasn’t my brain or my heart that needed surgery helped me a little.  I also saw a naturopathic doctor.  She helped me a lot.

I hope your TTC journey gets easier.  I hope the cyst goes away on its own or at least is easily removed.  FX for you!

Post # 5
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I really feel for you as I also have those fears. This is a good time to make 100 percent sure you truly like and trust your doctors. That can make a huge difference if your doctor is affiliated with a state of the art hospital that you trust so that your surgery can be done as uninvasively and comfortably as possible. I don’t think most reproductive surgery should have a long long bed rest for recovery.  Also Unless you are in a true emergency, why can’t your surgery be scheduled so you don’t miss importsnt occasions. If you are going to TTC, this is a good time to find a team of doctors who allay your fears and make the surgery as easy as possible for you. 

Also this is a good time to let your Darling Husband know what things he can do to help reduce your dread of the surgery. The communications and his being there for you is great practice for pregnancy and parenthood.I hope your cyst gets smaller or goes away – I will pray for that for you but if you do have the surgery, the above would be my advice. Hugs

 

Post # 6
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So sorry you are going thru this! Big hugs!! It’s so hard to get news you don’t want. My advice would be to let your RE know how serious you are about getting your cyst taken care of asap and wanting to get on the baby making road. It is hard but you have to be your own advocate. If you’re still waiting to meet with an oncologist about it call the office everyday and basically demand to be seen/spoken to. A lot of times we are just a number or a file in a doctor’s office so it’s a good idea to advocate for yourself and your health as best you can. Prayers for you and your hubby! I hope you get your cyst taken care of quickly and painlessly so you can move onto TTC again! Will be thinking of you!!

Post # 7
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First off huge mega hugs. I know its not the news you wanted but try and think of it as another step towards what you really want. I know thats how I had to look at it when I first found out I have PCOS. And still have to make my self this way as I enter my fourth medicated cycle. Infertility stuff sucks plain and simple. But thats a big reason I love these boards. The support, the place to vent, to talk about all this, and most ofall to give each other vitual hugs when we need them the  most. <3

Post # 8
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

weightwatchers152:  Sending you the hugest hugs!

I think like Mrs.LaFountain:  said that you need to think of this as a step on your journey toward becoming a parent. The sooner you get the cyst taken care of, the sooner you can work with your RE. And if I were you I would call that oncologist\’s office until they gave me an appointment. Or I might find a new one if that one isn\’t being responsive. You have got options. I know the going is tough but you need to keep going. 

I have PCOS which makes it hard for me to get pregnant and to carry a pregnancy and I am currently having a miscarriage…I don’t say that to compare (because I don’t think these things can be comparable and that’s in bad taste) but just to show you that we all have your burdens to carry, but we can’t let them get us down if we want to get to the finish line. We all have our fears and worries but those things are only going to hold us back and we need to find ways to cope and deal with them. I commend you for posting in this forum, getting support is a great way to help cope with stresses and I’m glad you reached out.

All of us here might have a long road to parenthood and it seems scary and overwhelming and like you might never get to becoming a parent, but you just need to take it one step at a time. Who knows…maybe it’ll be easier than you imagined. Maybe it won\’t, but there are always options and I’m convinced that one way or another we will become parents and we will make it work. Even if it takes a longer road. And in that second when you look at your child, all of that stress and fear and anxiety about getting pregnant will seem miniscule…because that moment is what will last from then on. And then, sneaking in, will come the stresses and worries that all parents have about their children…but this is why it’s important to learn to manage stress as well as possible starting right now. You can do it. 🙂

For the record, stress is also really bad for getting pregnant so yeah, do something to help you deal with it. I very recently started a medtation practice to try to get my fear and stress about TTC under control (I use the app Insight Timer, which is free and has guided meditations of all sorts). I would recommend that you start meditating too, I think it can only help and it does make me feel more zen when I do it. I would very very highly recommend it and also that you start out just doing it for a few minutes at a time (there are various lengths, but this is like training your mind so start off short and gradually progress to longer). 

Other things that help alleviate stress: exercise (as simple as walking and this will be good for you to do before and when you are pregnant and once you have a baby too), journaling (I find writing things out, like you have done here, is really cathartic), sex ( 😉 enough said), listening to music, and picking up hobbies (crocheting is something I picked up recently really helps me relax and I can make cute things for myself and DH–when I get pregnant, I am going to be good enough to make things for the little one but I\’m not starting on that until I’m pregnant)

Sending more hugs! I hope some of that helps!

Post # 9
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

weightwatchers152:  You’ve mentioned a lot of hormone problems above (high prolactin, not ovulating, hypothyroidism) – has your pituitary gland been checked out?

Post # 10
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

weightwatchers152:  The other thing that I wanted to say is that I think positivity is helpful in how we handle situations…even though it’s not always possible (sometimes you just need to be sad and feel those feelings).

But if you think about it this way it might help (I keep telling myself this): Even though it’s harder for us to get pregnant and have a baby, we will appreciate it so much more and be so much more thankful when it does happen for us and we do have children. We won’t take it for granted because our road to getting there was harder. And that is a blessing of sorts. 

And it’s great that we are being taken care of by doctors who are looking for our bests interests and that we have options to getting pregnant. Keep going. It will be worth it.

Post # 11
Member
4232 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’m so sorry this is happening to you! *hug*

Post # 12
Member
4021 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Just came to give u a hug

so sorry you’re dealing with this. 

i am praying for u and wishing the best for you.

Post # 13
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this, *big hugs*. If there is one fortunate thing here it’s at least you have what sounds to be a great team of doctors. Hopefully things will get sorted out and you will be able to get the cyst taken care of promptly, so you can start TTC again and be a part of the wedding. It will certainly be a scary journey but you’re going to have to remind yourself why you’re doing this. Just think though, years down the road this will make an wonderful story of perseverance when you tell your DS/DD how much you wanted them and how much you did to get them there. When my mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer she was told she would never be able to have any more children. But a part of her didn’t believe that, she kicked cancer’s *** and had me years later. So I’m just saying even though you feel like you’re down now, you can get through this and once you do you will realize just how actually brave and strong you are. Wishing, hoping and praying for you! 

Post # 14
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry that you’re havign to deal with all of this.  FWIW, I had a cyst removed in June ’13 and I was back up and moving fairly quickly. They wound up removing my ovary and fallopian tube at the same time so that impacted my recovery significantly, but even with that, I had surgery early on Wednesday morning and went to an all day picnic on Sunday with no problems.  They were able to remove it through a lap, so the scars are small and really not that noticable any more.  I felt SO much better after they removed it too!  I didn’t even know I had it until I was in the hospital, but it made a huge difference. 

You mentioned that your biggest fears are with the surgery itself.  I’ve had three of them now, I can completely understand where you’re coming from!  It is really scary!!! Going under for the first time is weird.  It’s really not scary, it just feels so weird as you go to sleep.  Recovery can be rough.  I’m not going to sugar coat that.  Make sure you bring someone with you who will advocate for you!  They can speak up and ask for more blankets if you’re cold, help you get readjusted to being awake and be there to support you.  Once you’re home, it makes a huge difference.  If you want more specific things that helped me during the recovery processes, let me know!  I’ve got a big list! 

I hope you and your medical team are able to find a solution soon and that you and your Darling Husband can move foward and get pregnant soon.  I’m so sorry for the rough journey you’ve had so far 🙁 

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