(Closed) visitation or funeral ?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It is always appropriate to be there to support someone in a time of grief. She will appreciate your presence more than you know. I would go to both and definitely bring a card. There will be a basket or table where you can put it if you don’t want to hand it directly to her.

If you only want to go to one of them, I guess, just choose one, but if you can make both it would be a lovely gesture and I know your co-worker would appreciate it.

Post # 4
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Viewing is best to support someone you know who lost a loved one you don’t know; the viewing is for comforting the family and friends of the deceased person.  Attending the funeral is mainly to celebrate the deceased person’s life and since you didn’t know them, there really isn’t a need to attend the funeral.

Post # 5
8823 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

since this is not someone you are close with outside of work, you don’t have to go to both.

i would just go to the viewing and send a card in the mail.


Post # 6
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@unhappybride:  I suggest you just go to the viewing. Pay your respects and then leave when you want to. The funeral is a lot more emotional and you may feel uncomfortable around lots of crying family members who don’t know who you are. 

Post # 7
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

From my perspective (I lost my father a year and half ago), if you don’t have a lot to say to the person other than “My sincerest condolences”, consider going to the funeral so she sees you are there, but no one has time to say much more than that. If you can provide a little more support, go to the visitation. Either way, bring a card.

Post # 8
3726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@unhappybride:  I would go to the visitation/wake instead of the funeral.

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