Post # 1
And I’ve officially gone back to not wanting kids, or at least holding off for a long time. She has a beautiful 2 month old baby boy and she’s very happy, but it was such an in-your-face reminder of how much work it is to be a parent. Maternity leave is so short and most babies cry through the night and now my poor friend is somewhat confined to her home when not at work. She’s a zombie during the day at a job she doesn’t even like from total lack of sleep.
I’m obviously not saying there isn’t any upside, it was just a rude awakening to have such a reminder what life is actually like once you have a baby.
Darling Husband and I have a bunch of vacations planned or in the works for the next few years, we wouldn’t be able to do any of that if we got pregnant. We’re also trying to save for our first home which would be majorly put on hold with baby expenses. And probably the biggest factor is I’m naturally such a light/troubled sleeper I would most likely be hospitalized from exhaustion after a short while.
I don’t know how mothers do it! Anyone else have a realization similar to mine recently?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
I wish I could get a reminder like that! I have super baby fever lately, and we want to hold off for a few more years, but ugh, it’s so hard sometimes!
I suppose that when it happens, it’s not so much as “how” mothers do it…its just what you do because you gotta!
Post # 4
When my SIL had my niece, it was definitely a wake-up call for me! Now she had her 2 1/2 years ago, but still…it’s tough! And now with my nephew who is only 5 months old…he’s still very collicky. I used to want 4 kids, and now I’ll be happy if I can have 2. B/c they really are a lot of work, and I give moms and dads tons of credit for being able to handle their kids on such little sleep. It really is a tough job to be a parent, and you don’t know it until you have your own or you see someone close to you have a baby of their own!
Post # 5
I often joke that calling my sister-in-law and hearing her 4 kids under 4 screaming and carrying on in the back ground is the best form of birth-control around.
Everytime I even think about considering getting pregnant again, I pick up the phone.
ETA: they’re good kids/babies – it is just that every child after the first seems to multiply the chaos/noise by 10000000000%
Post # 6
We are waiting to have kids until after we have done some traveling and saving. Then I will be a stay at home mom because I cant do it all. I only have enough energy for one or the other.
Post # 7
We babysat our almost 4 year old nephew for 20.5 hours the weekend before Thanksgiving and I was beyond exhausted. Since then we have had multiple conversations about how maybe we aren’t meant to have kids. Everyone says its easier when its your own, but it really made me question my desire to have kids.
Post # 8
@mssocks: I was in your shoes just recently! I think it comes in waves..
@2PeasinaPod: I agree wiht you, and even those close to you sometimes you only see the upside. Like the kids right after they nap, in dress clothes, acting sweet, etc. It’s when you visit their home I think is when you can really see how it’s affected them.
@JenniBride: Totally agree! Kids really hate it when their parents are on the phone, I used to for sure. It is amazing birth control!
@angiexox: I’m totally in your boat right now, that’s kind of where we’re headed.
@texasmeredith: Totally totally agree with you. I’ve also never had a consistent overwhelming urge to have them, so it’s easy for me to think maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
Post # 9
I don’t know how parents do it either! 🙂 Luckily, we were blessed with a very easy going baby who sleeps pretty well. I’ve had very few days where I felt exhausted to the point of zombie-hood.
Post # 10
@texasmeredith: we babysit our nieces/nephews frequently. Its also really hard to be handed a 4 year old and expect to take care of them. When you raise them, make them part of your schedule, etc from a baby it really helps with that.
Post # 11
@JenniBride: LOL! I say the same thing to my sister when I visit her and my nephews. Good heavens, that’ll stop your ovaries from getting itchy for a good few months!!!!!
I don’t know how most moms do it, especially if you have a baby that is really fussy/ busy/grumpy! I know for Darling Husband and I, we’ve had a good dose of parenting part time with having his son (my stepson) every other weekend and extended periods the odd times over Christmas/summer/etc. Oh man. We’re really not ready to be full time parents! I love my stepson, but I couldn’t do what his mom does full time. I’d lose my mind, I’m just not there yet! I have a heck of a lot of respect for moms and dads out there who do it day in and and day out! I’ll get there some day, but that day is a long way off still 😉
Post # 12
um…yes but unfortunately I am 6 months pregnant. LOL. It’s okay, I’m ready for her! 😉
Seriously though, I think when you are the parent and in the middle of it all, it’s really different from being an outsider looking in.
Post # 13
My nephew is the sweetest, most well behaved baby ever, who almost never cries, and when he does, he stops as soon as you pick him up. That being said, the days I babysit for him are the longest hours of my life. Love him to death, I miss him when I don’t see him for a few weeks, but when I am watching him, I am also watching the clock waiting for his mother to come get him. It’s hard, and exhausting. I still want my own though.
You know what really gives me pause about having kids? Going to the mall and walking by those indoor playgrounds with the screaming kids. That about makes me run out of the mall and straight to the pharmacy to refill my prescription.
Post # 14
My friend visited this weekend with her super sweet 5 month old. He’s been SUCH a “good” baby in all aspects it makes you forget for a second that not all babies are so easy peasy.
I think it’s different when it’s your own =]. I keep hearing all this stuff from my friend that is slowly changing my mind. I’ll just take a leap of faith I guess =]
Post # 15
Nothing cures Baby Rabies like a visit from a 6 month old. My bestie’s Darling Husband was worried that when I visited she would end up wanting a baby. LOL, no way. Nothing like a screaming baby at 10pm to remind you that DINK life is GOOD.
Post # 16
I just visited my friend who had her baby this last weekend. He’s adorable and it doesn’t make me want one any less. Yes, they are a ton of work but their smiles even everything out in the end. Now…I don’t think I’d ever want more than one…those women out there with 3+ kids are saints in my books.