(Closed) Visiting a Premie-Baby in the NICU?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL

my son was born 5.5 weeks early and the NICU doesnt allow anyone but parents and possibly grandparents in to see the baby. there may be glass windows for you to look into but you will not be allowed to go into the NICU. I was grateful that most people stayed away and chose to wait until the baby came home to visit. the NICU is a very stressful place and the parents minds are not on guests. i caution you and advise you to just stay away until the baby and mother come home. babies,especially preemies need peace and quiet, its extremely important for their development and recovery.

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

One of my brothers babies was there and they don’t allow visitors so it’s a non issue. I think a quick stop by for moral support for the parents is fine. Also calling ahead and seeing if they are up for visitors is also in order.

Post # 5
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My cousin had her baby in April at 24 weeks.  I was there when he was born but never saw him.  You need to talk to the parents, but as penguin0f3 mentioned, the NICU doesn’t allow visitors typically except parents/possibly grands.  Too many people around is not good for those little immune systems.   

Post # 6
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If my cousin’s baby was in the hospital, I’d ABSOLUTELY be there. Just because you go doesn’t mean you need to stay for a long time. Drop them off some flowers, maybe some homemade food since they are spending so much time in the hospital, and show your support. To me, that’s what family is for. As PP said you can’t see the baby, and I think that is best. But I would definitely stop by and see the parents and even the grandparents since I’m sure its hard on them as well. I wouldn’t stick around for long, just long enough to drop something off, give the parents a hug, and offer help/support. Maybe if you aren’t feeling comfortable going to the hospital, there is something else you can, like go to their house and clean, or do their laundry, take care of any pets, etc. But, since it’s your husband’s cousin, let him go to the hospital if he is comfortable with it, and you can show your support in other ways.

If it was a friend, it depends on how close of a friend. One of my best friends, I’d most definitely be there. I had a friend in a similar situation and since i’m far away, I couldn’t make it. I sent a little something for the baby and a gift card for her and her husband to a coffee shop because I knew they weren’t getting much sleep. They were so grateful that I was thinking of them. I also texted her every day to ask about the baby and she was more than happy to give me updates. Granted their baby was born a little further along, but still a preemie nonetheless. And a different situation since they were not expecting the birth so soon.

Post # 8
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The hospital staff won’t let visitors in to the NICU anyway… so I wouldn’t worry about it.  If you want to visit your friends for moral support go for it.

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well I’m super close to my cousins, when they all had their children I was out in the waiting room the whole time. If my child was in the NICU and family members didn’t even call to see if it was okay to come visit, I’d be pretty hurt. Have your called the family to express your congrats on the baby, say you’ll be thinking of them, hope he gets to come home soon, etc? Because if not I can see why your husband would start to feel like a jerk about that. I think your reaction about him being ‘in a box’ was pretty over the top, in my opinion anyways – it gives off the implication that you’re more concerned about the fact that you feeling weird going than what DH’s cousin is going through.

Post # 10
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the solution here is to send a note, maybe with a gift card for a very close by restaurant so they can pick up some food. In the note, mention that you’d like to visit with them whenever they feel comfortable and ready for it. 

Post # 12
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@CherryWaves:  My youngest was born 6 weeks early she was called a “late pre term baby” she wasn’t in the NICU but for the first two days she was hooked up to all kinds of moniters and was in an incubator.  She was having trouble keeping her Oxygen levels up and her body wasn’t controling her temp very well.  People drove me crazy for pictures but I knew that she wouldn’t be “hooked up” for long and didn’t want any pictures of her like that, luckily I stoped recieving messages about “where are the pictures” after a few family members were told that it made me uncomfotable.  I agree with calling ahead or just texting to let them know you are thinking of them, because my daughter couldn’t keep her body temp her and I spent most of our time with the Kangaroo hold ( which means I was nude waist up holding her against me to help her regulate her body temp) LOL would have been weird for people to just show up 🙂  My situation wasn’t even that bad looking in hindsite but I had already given birth twice to two healthy children who were realeased with in 24 hours of being born, I was scared and more concerned over my daughter then anyone coming to visit, but the texts from family and friends telling me they were thinking of us and loved us, were nice!  LOL sorry that is so long hope it helps

Post # 13
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

The NICU doesnt allow outsiders as their immune system is highly sensitive and it isn’t fair ot put that baby or others in jeapordy. It is not the time or the place to visit a NICU baby, and the best thing to do is send a nice card and maybe a basket to the mom. The hardest thing about having a child in NICU is that yare not able to take your baby home-so offering to go for coffee or talking is a lot better.

It is very emotional experience having  a child in NICU.

Post # 14
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I occasionally work in the NICU and we do not just allow anyone to visit.  We only allow 2 visitors at a time at the bedside and if they are not parents they have to be with a parent.  Most NICUs give out a special armband for the mom and another one that she can give to the dad(or other family member or friend if dad not in the picture).  Those bands get the person in to visit whenever.  Anyone else usually HAS to be in the company of someone with a band. There are so many rules about patient confidentiality as well so you can’t just go up and ask how baby so and so is doing either(we are not allowed to tell anyone besides parents about the baby). 

 

 

NICUs are not a social place.  If the family wants you to visit you have to make sure you wash your hands for a full 3 minutes at one of the stations outside the unit.  Also, if you have had any cold symptoms(fever, runny nose, cough) please don’t even bother visiting cause you are putting those very fragile babies at serious risk. 

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It really dependson the situation. My Brothers babie was in there for three months. However he had heart complications in addition to other sympthoms assoicated with down sydrome so it was a dire circumstances.

I say depending on long the baby will be there and how serious the issues are should be a the deciding factor of whether you wait to go now. However since your Dh feels so strongly about it and it perhaps letting him go alone or with another family member would be a good idea if you don’t feel comfortable going with him.

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