(Closed) Visiting far-flung family members

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You should go see her.

Sometimes when people get older, it’s a lot easier to handle in person. My grandparents could not come to my wedding, and they can’t really hear when I try to speak to them on the phone, but in person we talk okay. They also live out of town and out of the way, and I’ve only seen them 2x in the last 18 months, but I kind of feel bad thinking every time I see them might be the last time. I think as I’ve gotten older (at least away from the teenage/ college-age) it’s easier to relate to them, at least in my case.

My other grandmother died when Darling Husband and I had been dating 3 months and I was on vacation with him instead of seeing her. I regret it to this day that she never met him and that I didn’t take making one last visit seriously. (Not that he would have come because we were so new to each other, but still I feel like I had my priorities messed up.)

Go see her unless you have no relationship with her and no desire to have a relationship or a memory of your adult life with her. I know for some people with family members that’s the situation, and in that case my comment would not apply.

Post # 4
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

You should go see her, you don’t want to have any regrets! It’s only money, and she’s your grandma, it’s worth it.

Post # 5
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Go see her. Both my grandpa and my husband’s grandpa’s passed away before they were able to meet our special person, and we BOTH regret that we never got the chance to meet them. It is possible that having him there will change the dynamic and make her more pleasant. Maybe you could go with a mission – to tape record your grandma’s memories of her childhood, or to complete your family tree. This might make it easier to motivate yourself to go. Think of what special memory might be lost forever when she is gone, and how those might be special to your new family.

Post # 6
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Go visit her. She may suprise you. My grandfather is naturalls negative and had previously only met one of my boyfriends (who he proceeded to call a priest) so I was super hesitant to introduce Fiance. I finally brought Fiance over to my grandfather’S house when we were in town and he loved him. Now, whenever I talk to him on the phone he always asks about Fiance. I have no idea why but it worked out so much better than I ciould have ever expected.

Post # 7
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d say go visit her.  Its not something you’re going to enjoy but you may regret not going some day.  I think if you go, you should make it a whole trip, so you don’t just spend the money to go see her and come back.  There must be some fun stuff to do right?

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