Post # 16
I wasn’t going to question what she had- I think that would have been over- reacting.
We get along fine. Husband and this brother have a pretty good relationship- they play golf together about once a month. And chat on the phone. We have each other over often for dinner. I don’t think they would have thought it was rude to decline. We’ve had cancellations before and it’s basically ‘see you next time’
As for me not liking her.. disagree. She’s basically the sister that I never had. She does things that annoy me- as I’m sure I’ve done the same to her. We go shopping and watch movies without the boys there- which I wouldn’t do if I didn’t like her.
Post # 17
Sine she had been on medication I’m assuming her doctor reassured her that she wouldn’t be contagious & could visit you. I find it odd that you knew she was on meds and for how long but asking what she had is crossing the line. I’m pregnant and Work in public health, wash you hands and you don’t share food. You will be fine.
Post # 18
She shared she was on medication when she arrived. I didn’t ask.
Post # 19
The most polite thing would have been for her to call you ahead of time. She could have said that she is sick and ask you if she should visit. Just because she took the meds doesn’t mean she is no longer contagious. What if she had a virus and not a bacterial infection? I always give people a heads up if I’ve been sick and if they want me to stay home, I will. In your case with you being pregnant, I’d even more likely give you a heads up.
Post # 20
Hm it’s a little rude, but not the end of the world.
If you had a newborn – she should definitely say something and NOT visit!! The first time I was going to see my cousin’s baby, I got a sore throat the night before that I knew was going to turn into a full-blown two week cold. So I messaged her saying that I was sick and couldn’t go, and met the little one a month afterward. Hopefully she shows the same courtesy when your baby arrives.
Post # 21
trekstar : I get pretty bad sinus infections, and have been on antibiotics but will still have a pretty severe cough while taking them so while I’m not contagious, it’s still quite obnoxious.
If it were me I would have cancelled. And, if it were me I guess I would have just come out and asked “Are you contagious?” When she showed up obviously sick and talking about being on medication and what not, seems like a pretty reasonable question especially considering this girl is the sister you never had. I’d then let her know in the future I’d appreciate it if we cancel plans when one of us is sick, for the sake of the rest of the group.
Post # 22
futuremrs2020 : true. I hadn’t even thought of asking that.
Still getting to know her. Known her for 2 years so I’m still trying to figure out what is appropriate to ask and what isn’t. I’ve found some people are weird when asking about health- I guess I’m still trying to get a feel on her about that topic. I have one 15+ years friend who gets super annoyed when asked about her health- even from me. So maybe it’s influenced what I ask her?
Next time I’ll just straight up ask. Could have been allergies or hay fever as some suggested. It’s on me to ask.
Post # 23
Personally I think it’s rude. Especially since you are also pregnant. Sounds like you were kinda trapped into the situation. As a PP mentioned she should have called.
Post # 24
I dunno I think this is a bit of an overreaction. It’s not like it was just going out for dinner, it was a major holiday celebration! Assuming she doesnt have like, tuberculosis and you practice proper handwashing you will be fine. If you were outdoors (as most fireworks are..) you’ll have encoutered hudnreds if not thousands of other people – many of who may have been sick. Plus, you dont know if maybe she didn’t want to go and her spouse really wanted her to or she got in trouble for missing the last meet up, etc. That said, I would just make sure she knows rules for when baby comes.
Post # 25
Generally I would be thinking, yeah, it’s definitely impolite of her, but I probably wouldn’t worry too much. However, right now I have a cold, and I know it’s not going to kill me and I have every faith in my immune system, but I am coughing and sniffing and I’m very grumpy and reminiscing fondly about last week when I didn’t have a cold. So I completely get why you wish she’d stayed home. I wish whoever gave me this cold stayed home.
Post # 26
Sansa85 : No. They may have given her an antibiotic, but that won’t help if it was a virus. Sneezing is more viral than bacterial. Too many MDs hand out scripts for abt tx when it’s very likely the problem is viral. But we don’t know what she took.
Bottom line is this girl should know better than than to be sneezing and coughing near a pregnant woman ffs. I would have removed myself from her presence.