(Closed) Visiting with parents of deceased friend. Some guidance please

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think a plant sounds like a lovely idea. It is very low key and won’t make a big deal even though you wil lall know what the plant represents.

Post # 4
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cooperlove:  Many people worry about saying the wrong thing, so they avoid talking about the deceased.

Talk about their son. Share stories of great times you had with him. His parents  would love to hear how he made a positive difference in your lives and that you miss him.

Do you have any pictures of him that they may not have seen? Bring copies as a gift for them.

Post # 5
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cooperlove:  a plant is a great idea. Different plants have different meanings so if you even wanted to make it a little more sentimental you could looking into a plant with a sympathy meaning or another meaning (like hope, luck, love etc).


Tending to something while healing is very therapeutic for most people and it gives them something physical to remember the person by (and almost a way to still show love and care towards the person by tending to the plant). 



Post # 6
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

When I saw the mother of a friend that had passed, I brought her photos that she hadn’t seen.  We had some good laughs over silly stories.  She sent me thank you card after the fact, which I’m sure I still have, many many many years later.

Post # 7
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think a plant is a nice idea. And you should definitely talk about their son if you want to. My friend passed away 2 years ago, and when I see his parents we’ll reminisce. It’s nice for his parents to know people cared about their son.

ETA: if you get a vibe from them that they don’t really want to talk about their son much though, just let it go. My dad passed away when I was a kid and I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it for years. You can bring up their son, but take conversational cues from them.

Post # 10
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Having lost two friends young, and still in contact with both sets of parents, they do seem to like talking about their children and knowing you still think of them and miss them.  They also like to know how I am getting on and we normally just have a normal chat too.  Don’t think too hard about it, it’s great you’re going, when some people wouldn’t beacuse it can be difficult.  Take your cues from them, and a plant is a lovely thought.

Post # 11
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@cooperlove:  thank you

I’m sure you’ll be fine with the parents, just knowing you and your husband cared for his son will mean a lot to them.

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