(Closed) Visitors after baby is born??

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

People are excited for you and they want to see a “newborn” not a few weeks old baby… It will be a madhouse for the first few weeks then it will calm down.

Post # 4
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s one of my biggest fears, although I’m not even TTC yet.

I think it’s only fair to start setting some boundaries, and try to get into your FIs head, so you’re on the same team. Again, I can’t speak from experience, but I’d be stressed out enough with a newborn, I wouldn’t want to play hostess to a bunch of houseguests, too. I’d also imagine to like to have some time alone with my Fiance and baby, especially in the first weeks. Do they all have to stay at your house? I’d maybe go as far as implementing “visiting hours”, but I’m also crazy about alone time and surrounded by people without any sense of boundaries or common decency ๐Ÿ˜€ I hope everything works out well for you!

Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Can you tell them they are welcome to visit, but you have limited space in the house, so would they please stay at a hotel? 

Post # 8
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@PandasWifey:  do they know you will have 4 other visitors staying with you at the same time?  If they literally have no place to sleep, maybe they will reconsider on their own.  that doesn’t sound fun to me either.  i am anticipating both our mothers will be want to come and it’s already stressing me out because we live in a small apartment!

Post # 9
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Another point of view would be: Oh, I haven’t seen the baby yet… people get disappointed, I know what you’re saying, YOU need time alone with the baby, that’s should be top priority. But people want to see the baby as soon as possible so they can talk about him/her. Try to look at it through their eyes.

Post # 10
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe I don’t understand, you were welcoming folks with open arms so to speak and now you’ve suddenly realized this wasn’t a good idea? You say your Mom is a burden, then why didn’t you draw the line sooner? It might seem like everyone wants to come at once, but when it comes down to it, it likely won’t pan out that way.

Either you didn’t realize people would want to come right away, or you didn’t realize how upside down your life might be once the bambino comes home?

I don’t get why it’s such a big deal? Don’t create more/stress drama in your life! If you know/think you will need space and time, then draw the line! I think parents of both of you should be welcomed right away (mine are halfaway across the country and will also be staying over) but anyone else needs to wait for a go ahead day or an invitation, simple as that! All my family knows where I live, but in the case of a newborn I am pretty sure will be waiting to hear from us and let us get settled before banging down our door.

Post # 11
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@AprilJo2011:  i agree with this. as long as you have a realtionship with your parents and your husband’s parents, you really should let them see the baby asap.  just explain to them that you don’t have room in the house. (but idk how that will go over if you have someone who is working for you staying as well..) these women once had babies as well, im sure they understand how hectic it must be!

Post # 12
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@PandasWifey:  I’ve staqrted setting limits/boudaries with Darling Husband when the topic comes up because I don’t want to have to talk about it when people are already on their way. We’ve discussed havign somethign like a “sip and see” a few weeks after he’s born so that everyone can come to the house and see the baby and then will all leave after. For parents, of course, that’s more difficult. I know my Father-In-Law will be in the waiting room, as will my mom but I don’t anticipate anyone staying at our house for a while…my Mother-In-Law may ask but I have no issue telling her no, that’s it would be too much right away but that she’s welcome to come when the baby ios a little older. I don’t think it will go over very weell but I feel like it’s important to set the limit now rather than wait until she has her bag packed and is on her way ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 13
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i would prioritize vistors. i kinda agree with your husband that his parents shouldnt have to wait a couple weeks to visit thier grandchild…  can you ask everyone like your mom and Mother-In-Law to stay in a hotel, so that your not overwhlemed with them in your house 24 hours a day? then you can set up the times they come to visit to you (on your schedule).

Post # 14
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Situations like this make me so happy that both of our families are local. There’s no way in f’ing hell that I would allow house guests right after having a baby. That time should really be for you and your Darling Husband to bond with him/her without any intruders. It’s one thing if family and friends want to drop by for a few hours here and there but setting up camp in your guest rooms is just far too much, imo. You’re well within your rights to set up boundaries and I think it’s something that you absolutely SHOULD do… like right now. It’s pretty selfish of your families to expect you to accommodate them during this very stressful time in your lives. If they want to come so badly, they can stay in a hotel. I really think that you will thoroughly regret having all of these people around so soon after you give birth. 

I didn’t read through all of the PP’s so you may have already answered this but how far away do these people live? If we’re talking a few hours in the car then there’s no reason why they couldn’t make it a day trip. 

Post # 16
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@UpstateCait:  Everything you said! My Darling Husband and I told our families that when WE’RE ready for you to meet our son we’ll make a trip down (6 hours away), which won’t be happening for a long long time.

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