(Closed) Visitors at hospital and home after baby…your rules?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 31
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

missjewels:  So you’re going to be one of those parents?  Good of you to alert your family that their love and interest is unwelcome.  Hope you remember that it’s you who set this tone when their interest and generosity are transferred to more appreciative individuals.

if I were handed a list of “rules” making it clear I was regarded as a burden and and idiot to boot, I just wouldn’t visit.  

You’re having a baby – not the second coming. 

Post # 32
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Exactly. My in laws stayed with us for a week for each baby. They would have been horrified to be asked to have a tDap. I would never ask anyone that.  It honestly makes me wonder why people think this is appropriate behavior?  Wash hands?  Yes. Limit time?  Sure. Ask for baby back if they are crying?  Definitely. Demand they get injected with a vaccine that can cause horrible side effects?  No way. Demand that people who come over cook and clean for you? Are you freakin kidding?  I’d tell you to get over yourself. 

Also whoever mentioned second hand smoke  and SIDS. It’s not from smoke on the clothing. It’s from smoking around the infant on a consistent and persistent basis. While I would definitely hate having my baby smell of smoke from someone’s clothing it would have no impact on their health. I’m a pediatric nurse so I would suggest researching this more if for nothing else than your own peace of mind. It’s gross but not harmful. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  jen316. Reason: Added info
Post # 33
Member
9582 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Horrified to get a booster for a disease that could kill your infant grandchild? Really?

Post # 34
Member
12 posts
Newbee

What if it killed your family member?  Yes. I would be horrified to be so self involved as to ask all of my family members to get this. If they were living with me or watching the baby while I work then I could see it. Anything else it’s way over the line. 

Post # 35
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

The risk of side effects from the vaccine is orders of magnitude lower than the risk of side effects from the illness. And all it takes is one cough or sneeze to transmit the disease so it doesn’t matter how long they’re seeing the baby for.

Post # 36
Member
9582 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Most people are vaccinated for pertussis as a child. If they didn’t have a reaction then, the chances of it happening now are miniscule. I actually did have a reaction as a baby so I’m not allowed to ever have it again – and it sucks. I can’t even imagine the guilt of losing a baby over a preventable disease. When the time comes for us to have a child, our parents will get the booster or they can simply wait until the baby is older to visit. It’s certainly their choice.

Post # 37
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Zhabeego:  Amen. Good lord. I’ve been around a bajillion babies in my life (my mom is/was a pretty well known midwife) and I cannot remember ever me or anyone else following any rules other than perhaps washing your hands before holding the baby. Babies are just not that freaking delicate.

Post # 39
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Wait. You posted something on a public forum asking for advice and are getting pissed because people aren’t agreeing with you?  You do know how the interet works, yes?  

 

Do whatever pleases you. Put people in scrubs and medical masks and gloves if it suits your needs. But don’t seek approval on the internet if you don’t really want opinions other that your own. 

 

Post # 40
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Getting advice you don’t agree with is one thing – being personally attacked is another. 

Post # 41
Member
12 posts
Newbee

What personal attack?  All I read was her opinion. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  jen316.
Post # 44
Member
48 posts
Newbee

xD you should print that  list

Post # 45
Member
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

missjewels:  after hearing every single person I know whos had a baby vent about certain things in the last few years (and especially this year) I have a few rule I want

1) only me and Darling Husband at hospital – not even sure we’re going to tell parents Im in labor because both my mom and his dad will be calling every 5 seconds asking if its out yet. ….2) NO ONE comes to the hospital until we say so (I want several hours of rest before visitors)…..3) when we get home no one is to assume they can drop by, everyone must call (I cant tell you how many of my friends have had to go into their room and have a breakdown from being hormonal and overwhelmed from having people in the house)…….4) I dont want visits more then say 2 hours (I know my IL’s will not stay for less then that because we live a bit of a distance (in their opinion) from them, in the hospital yes 30-60 minutes but at home I know I will have to deal with longer…….5) no one coming to our house will expect to be “hosted”…. if you wanna show up during a meal time? then bring food because from what I hear you can barely feed yourself lol….6) anyone sick or just getting over being sick has to stay away for a bit. 7) I want to have the first day home just the 3 of us…. no visitors

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