Post # 1
Hi ladies, I was thinking about not allowing visitors while I’m in the labor/delivery unit and only allowing visitors the next day when the baby and I are in the womens and children’s unit. I don’t even really want to tell people when I go into labor, because I dont want people just showing up. We would just call them afterwards when we are settled and cleaned up. Is this rude of me?
Post # 3
No. I didn’t allow visitors at the hospital at all with my daughters’ births. It’s not your job to host people and cater to them. You are the patient. This is your call. Whatever you are comfortable with is perfectly acceptable.
Post # 4
Labour and delivery are not a spectator sport. You are entitled to your privacy if you want it.
Post # 5
Also, use whoever will be with you as your advocate. Have your husband/partner/mother/trusted friend be your gatekeeper. Let that person speak for you to others. Also have a conversation with any potential grandparents or friends who might show up before hand. Say something like, ” I know you are excited for baby, but I’d like to call/text you when I am ready for you to come see him/her.” I think that most people are very sensitive to the mother’s wishes/needs at this time. (of course there are always some people who have little social grace, but most people “get it”)
Post # 6
Nope! I’m only telling my parents, my sister, and DH’s parents. I know that they respect the fact that I am very private and will step out while exams are being performed, etc. Other people I know (and love!)….not so much!
I’m thinking about limiting people coming while we are in the hospital, period. I have had several people that I honestly do not know that well tell me that they want to come. I’ll either not mention it or just send out a message that says something like “Yahoo! We are thrilled to announce that Baby is here! We will let everyone know when we are ready for visitors.” Someone on here suggested that to me and I love it. It makes me so happy to know that people are excited about our baby, but we have a very large extended family and I know that they will all want to come, and I know how important it is to use those first few days to establish breastfeeding, etc.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s rude. My SIL had two rough deliveries. with my niece she had a steady stream of people coming by and she hated every second of it. When my nephew was born, she asked that only her parents and her husbands’s parents be allowed to visit. My other SIL and her husband stayed at their house to take care of my niece. She called friends and extended family members once she was up for visitors at home. Everyone was very understanding.
And like another poster mentioned, it most certainly is not a spectator sport.
Post # 8
Who do you anticipate would show up? It’d never occur to me to show up to visit a friend unless it was ok’d by them (in fact, I’ve never asked as I figure they want the time to the themselves). Are you worried about close family like a sister? It’d also never occur to me to keep my close family out.
Post # 9
@kay01: I think in certain areas (such as where I live), it is more common for people that are not close family to want to come and see the baby. I asked a similar question to this and people expressed surprise that I thought that people other than close family would be interested in coming. But, I have had several people express interest in visiting that are more along the lines of aquaintances. I think it’s a regional thing.
Post # 10
Not rude at all. My Darling Husband and I each told our parents that we would let them know when we were at the hospital, but not to show up because no one was seeing the baby until several hours after delivery, when we let them know we were ready for company. You can absolutely set the guidelines for when/if you want visitors.
Post # 12
No that’s not rude. Usually you can’t have a ton of people in the room while you’re delivering anyway. So they would be hanging out in the waiting room. I”m debating on telling very many people when I go into labor just because I don’t want the phone calls and texts from people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not saying anything til later. It’s your family and people should understand.
Post # 13
You’re allowed to include or exclude whoever you want — your comfort is what is most important!
A friend who will be going into labor any day now forwarded me her official “birth plan” a few days ago. It will be just the parents in the L & D room, and she’s requesting no guests for the first two hours after the baby’s birth so they can bond with the baby for a little while before they’re overwhelmed with visitors.
I think it’s perfectly acceptable to establish when you want visitors, and make it clear when you don’t want visitors. An actual typed up birth plan, distributed to all family members and close friends, is great for that!
Post # 14
@Kimmy83: Where in the world is it allowed for random relatives to come in and see your lady parts? Certainly not where I live. The only people allowed in were those I said could come in, which was my husband only.
I think even the next day is generous! I ended up having C-sections so only very closest family (my and his parents) were welcome even the next day. Everyone else had to wait until the day after that, when I was feeling a lot better.
Post # 15
@kay01: I agree. I’ve lived here my whole life and I would only go see family or a very, very, very close friend, but it seems I am in the minority!
Post # 16
Not rude at all – and if someone thinks it is, too bad. My body, my choice. We aren’t telling anyone we are going to the hospital when it’s go time. We will contact our parents when we are ready for visitors.
I am going to try to labor without drugs as long as I can manage. I will be in and out of the shower, tub, trying different positions, walking, etc. No one needs to be there besides my husband while I am half naked trying to manage through the pain.