Post # 1
So… my FH and I were talking and we want to write/mix and mash our vows from things we like from things we’ve read.
Our relationship has been through hell basically and has survived. In spite of so much opposition we are getting married and we both want our vows to represent this.
Any ideas? I don’t want to be bitter or take stabs at anyone in particular but I want our vows to reflect what we’ve been through.
Post # 3
So I went to this wedding where the vows were really an exercise in “what not to say” and I also saw an episode of Bridezillas where I was mortified by some of things that were said. I am a fan of keeping your laundry to yourself, especially if it involves other people. With that said, I think it’s a good idea to note the course of your relationship, but remember that vows are mostly promises to one another and should not be full run down of where you’ve been before. Marriage is a new beginning not a rehashing. 🙂
Post # 4
My husband made reference in the vows he wrote about tough times. I knew what he was talking about without airing our dirty laundry as a PP put it. These are obviously her personal vows, but I thought maybe they could spur an idea.
…I also learned over the past year that life is tough, there are twists and turns that test us. But, I learned that when life gets crazy around us, all we have to do is look at each other and remember that we are perfect together. I am not perfect alone; I am only perfect when you are a part of me. So today I promise you that I will not take that for granted. I will remember what life was like before you…”
Post # 5
@mwitter80: this is what I was thinking 🙂 yes, it’s just for us… I don’t know how to write my vows without including what we’ve been through in some way or another.
Post # 6
My fiance and I have also been through hell and back and intend to write our own vows.
Going through the tough times is what made me realize that we can and will make it in this life together, no matter what. I know that no matter what happens around us, he will be there, unwaivering, and I will do the same for him. I can really, truly say that for the first time in my life BECAUSE of all of the crap we went through. I said/felt it before the crap, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. It’s totally different now — in a good way.
I’m sure people say it all the time, but until life comes and bites you in the ass, you really don’t know how you’re going to handle it as a person or as a couple.
I’m into corney quotes/sayings, so here are some I like (forgive me if any of them make you gag) lol. Also some songs/lyrics:
* You will never truly know yourself or the strength of your relationships until both have been tested by adversity ~ J.K. Rowling
* Christina Aguilera’s Save Me From Myself (from her Back to Basics Album)
* Lady Gaga’s song The Edge of Glory — she actually wrote this about her grandparents and was inspired when her grandfather passed away and her grandmother had to say good-bye to him. She said she realized that they’d won in life because they’d won in love.
* There was an episode of Scrubs where Turk proposed to Carla and she initially said no because things weren’t “perfect.” Then at the end of the episode she said that she realized she did want to marry him because true love is wanting to be with someone even when things are “messed up.”
I’m sure I have more corn lying around. I’ll post if I think of anything…
Post # 7
I know these are not vows, but might say what you are trying to accomplish.
Post # 8
@EsqBailey: I attended a wedding with my Fiance years ago and the bride’s whole SPEECH was basically just the story of how the groom had dated some other girl in high school and it was super awkward for everyone. I wouldn’t have even known that since I was new to the group!
Good luck, OP, sorry I don’t have any input….I suck at these things.
Post # 9
oh and how could I forget about this:
Post # 10
@Stace126: love it and
@tksjewelry: love this, too! 🙂
Thanks and I’d love to hear more this is exactly what I want and is helping a lot!
Post # 11
We are doing a hand washing ceremony at the very beginning of our ceremony. No one I know has ever seen one done, they will probably all think we are nuts but it represents starting with a clean slate letting go of the pains and struggles of the past.