(Closed) Vows – Does Anyone Write Their Own, Yet Traditional, Ones Anymore?

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We did this, I actually have a large pet peeve towards non-vows (the ones where it’s just a speech about what the person means to you. While those are sweet, they aren’t VOWS). 

Ill see if I can find a digital copy, give me a minute

Post # 4
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@ebarnes0:  We wrote our own ceremony.  Ok, mostly me.  But some tweaks at Mr. S’s request which included changing/adding some of the vows.  We wanted to come up the vows but I know he’ll stumble through them and I would have to read (which I don’t personally want to do), so we elected to write our own that the officiant will ask us to repeat.

Post # 5
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t know if they are exactly “traditional”, but there’s a lot of promises in there. 


8 1/2 years of adventures have brought us here.. in front of our family and friends to mark the next chapter in our lives together. 


You’ve been my friend, my partner, my sons father and my defender against all things creepy- crawly..but from today forward you will be my husband…. Which means I stand here today to make public all of the promises I have made and will continue to make from this day forward. 


I promise to be faithful to you and to never give you reason to doubt my word.


I promise to treat you with the respect you’ve earned and deserve. 


When I am angry, I will always remain kind…never mean or spiteful – unless we are playing a board game – then all bets are off. 


I promise to respect and encourage your own interests and goals, because I believe it’s important that we both continue to grow as individuals as well as a couple.


I promise to make you my first priority, and to always treat your needs as important as my own. 


And finally, I promise to spend today and the rest of my tomorrow’s earning the way you look at me when you don’t think anyone else is watching… Because I am honored and humbled that you have chosen me to be your wife.

Post # 7
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ebarnes0:  We did this! We took bits and pieces we liked from traditional vows and tailored it to our relationship. We both recited the same vows, as well.  

Post # 8
3283 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We wrote our own little speech-y things and then did traditional, repeat after the officiant vows (separately). We also wrote our entire ceremony together! It was so amazing to have this ceremony that we had written together on our wedding day–probably my favorite part of the day.

Post # 9
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@ebarnes0:  We drafted a fairly long introduction to the vows, so we kept the actual vows short and sweet. 

I, Soon2beMrsS, take you, Mr. S, as my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our marriage and love you more each day than I did the day before. I promise to love you unconditionally and to support you in your goals.  I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

Post # 10
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We wrote our own vows, which like you said, were repeated to each other vs. reading a story. Very short but meant alot to us.

I take you ______ to be my wife/husband

You are my best friend and my true match

The best women/man I’ve ever known

I promise to love you unconditionally

To honor and respect you

To work hard to be a kind, faithful, and supportive husband/wife

And throughout my life, to cherish you, comfort and encourage you for as long as we both shall live.

Post # 11
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@ebarnes0:  I COMPLETELY agree with you that most “personal vows” have sort of turned into a personal love letter about why you are there marrying the person…which is beautiful but are not vows in the litteral sense. 

I also think that the concept of “surprise” vows makes no sense.  Why would I want to be surprised by what my Darling Husband thinks he’s getting into with marriage?  I want this to be crystal clear before we go down the aisle, and I want us to be on the same page.

I felt strongly about this before the wedding so one of my top priorities for the wedding what the Darling Husband and I would sit down together to write our vows.  The objective was simple: what does marriage mean to us, and what are we promising each other by getting married?  We started off with a whole bunch of examples that I got from online and used that to get the ideas going.  We weren’t worried about being creative, non-traditional, funny, or poetic.  We just wanted to clearly communicate out intntions.  We both said the same vows.  The format basically went like this:

Today, in front of our family and friends, I promise you:

 – To make our familys success and happiness my number one priority.

 – To blah blah blah

 – Etc

I promise this now, and for the rest of my life.

Once we’d finished this part we did decide that it would be kind of fun to add in a bit of the “love letter” type stuff, so we each decided to do a short into to lead into our vows.  This part was just a few sentances that expressed how/why we got to the place we were in today.  We each wrote our own and it was a surprise to the other.  It certainly helped to make the ceremony more memorable for both our guests and ourselves, so I think it was a best of both world kind of thing.

I keep meaning to do up a framed copy of our vows.  Better add it to the to-do list!


Post # 12
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

here’s mine…rough draft anyway.  Still working on them, it’s my take on the speech ‘So God Made a Farmer’

And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker.” So God gave her this man.

God said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, shovel the snow, work all day on the rails, shovel the snow again, eat supper, and then stay up past his bed time to ensure his home is safe and protected.” So God gave her this man.

 “I need somebody with hands strong enough to heave steel and yet gentle enough to wipe tears.  Somebody to mow lawns, change oil, come home hungry, have to wait until his woman was done entertaining the house guests and tell them all to visit again soon, all while being truthful.  So God gave her this man.

God said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a sick child, someone to cuddle and hold their little hands and watching over them until the fever broke.  I need someone who can build a snowman in the winter, plant flowers in the summer, change tires, fix brakes, and scrub bathrooms.  Someone who will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon then do another seventy hours labour tamping, shovelling ballast, and prepping rail then coming home, setting up the brio trains, building Legos and then cuddling the couch once the kids are in tucked into bed. So God gave her this man

God looked down and thought he needed “Somebody who’d bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would polish the gun when the girls went off with their new boyfriends, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life ‘doing what dad does.'” So God gave her this man.

Fiance, I gave you this ring to express my love and commitment to being the best woman I can be for you.  I ask that you continue to wear it in honour of the bond we share and as a symbol of the fact that I will always live in the warmth of your heart and call it home.  This is a once in a lifetime love and no matter what challenges we may face, I vow to always find my way back home to you.  I love you, we love you, and will continue each day to bring the best out in eachother.  

Post # 13
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Mine are half a speech about how much I love my Fiance, and half actual vows. Here’s the vows part:


 I promise that I will always support you in everything you do,

and I will also help you find balance.


 I promise that I will never stop cherishing you.

Every day, I will remind you how much I love you,

and I’ll always wake you up,

and tell you goodnight, with a kiss.


I promise to always go on adventures with you,

and to fall in love with you over and over again,

as we experience the world together.



Finally, I promise to never stop confiding in you,

and also to be your confidant,

so that we never get to a place,

where we have to look to the past

to find our connection.



I’m so honored that you’ve chosen to spend your life with me.

Loving you is the most natural and wonderful thing in the world,

and I’ll never forget how grateful I am to have found you. 

Edited to add: We’re saying the traditional vows, too, so I didn’t promise anything that’s covered in those.


Post # 14
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Here are mine:

I vow to love you unconditionally, from now until the end of time, both as the man you are now, and the man you are to become. I promise to always be your friend, your partner, and your rock. I promise to lift you up when you are down, encourage you in your times of weakness, listen to you when you need an ear and offer my shoulder when you need to cry. I promise to always show you respect and patience, even in times of disagreement. And I promise to teach you as you have taught me, to celebrate your victories as though they were my own, and to share in your dreams and goals as we build our life together from this moment forward.

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