Post # 1
Fiance and I speak English to each other. He happens to be fluent in the language of his church and would like the cermony to be in english and the other language (that I am not proficient in at all). 99% of guests speak english and 50% would kind of understand the other language as well.
I feel that I have compromised and was happy to have the ceremony is his church despite my background, but I am not at all comfortable with having any part of it in a language I do not understand. I don’t know how it can be about us if I can’t understand it. Am I being unreasonable?
Post # 3
i was watching some wedding show this weekend where the wedding was in a greek orthodox church and a lot of the ceremony was conducted in greek. one of the guests made some catty comment about it (but i think that was the point of the show? not sure, only caught 5 minutes and wasn’t really paying attention) but for the most part i think it was fine. we are getting married by a rabbi but Fiance isn’t jewish and has requested that not much is done in hebrew, because he doesn’t understand it and most others don’t either. we might throw in one or two brief things, and then the rabbi can explain. maybe you can just do a few important things in whatever language and then have your officiant translate/explain?
one thing i would definitely be against would be doing my vows in another language. you need to know what you’re promising to do!
Post # 4
@pb and j: I think you are quickly becoming my go-to advisor on these message boards! I think I might be open to a couple parts but definitely not the vows – and I will keep this to myself so FI’s family doesn’t get unrealistic expectations. Well, his mom already has them but he’s not ready to break the news yet about the language. In my defense I told them I wanted the ceremony in english, they are just having a creative memory of that 😉
Thank you again!
Post # 5
I would feel a bit weird about it. I’m able to speak two languages but I always feel weird when I speak my other language as I know that DH only understands common words and phrases that I’ve taught him. A wedding ceremony is a reflection of the COUPLE and I just think that, unless the couple can both speak two languages fluently, then it should be done in the language that the couple speak to each other – in this case, English.
Post # 6
@littlemissmoo: thank you! I just don’t want to stand there not knowing what is going on – even if it is all a direct translation it just feels wrong to me. Not to mention that the ceremony would take AGES to do both ways. I don’t even want to think about my parents reaction.
I think I will stand firm and if I change my mind and compromise on a prayer or two, I will just surprise them. I’m worried about giving an inch and them taking mile (which is already what they did when I wanted it in english, not a translation)!
I sure hope this planning process gets more fun 🙂
Post # 7
We had a destinantion wedding in Thailand and the entire ceremony was in Thai and neither of us speak it. The feeling was there and that is what mattered. But there were no vows-I agree that the vows should be in English.