Post # 1
Fiance really wants us to write our own vows. Seeing as how he hasn’t complained at my insane need to sneak some Harry Potter into the wedding (more than once), I kind of feel like I should give him that lol
He’s really well spoken and can make a roomful of people burst into tears. Which he’s promising to do lol.
He’d be the one to have this really touching and super emotional/sweet/romantic schpeel. I’m not good at all that public speaking..and definitely not being all emotional and whatnot infront of everyone.
I’ll be the one to blurt out something like “Yeah, you’re pretty cool too.” with an awkward fistbump…or salute… or high five.
And then I’ll feel ridiculous…sweat all over my pretty dress. Possibly cry and/or pass out (like I did during speech).
Would it be totally weird if I just let him do his vows…and then I get to just give him a thumbs up. Rings…then kiss… then done? Lol.
I know I’ve got time before the wedding… but I could have 50 years and never be able to actually prepare for that.
He knows that I’m “eh” about it, and he is totally willing to just forgo writing our own vows for my sake. But then I’d feel horrible. He’s been really opinionated at planning…picking the perfect shade of mint lol… he’s excited, and there the whole way. He’s let me get away with lot that I’ve wanted. I know how much he really wants to do it.
Any Bees out there make it through their vows without completely freaking out?
Post # 2
You can hire a speechwriter online to write them. Or ask the Bed for best vows and compile them. You can do this!
Post # 3
Writing your own vows is beautiful, but only if both of you want to do that—maybe you could compromise and do joint vows? My friends did this at their wedding and it was reaaaally beautiful (everyone was sobbing by the end). It would take some of the stress off of you to come up with perfect vows, plus your fiance still gets the handwritten vows feel.
Post # 4
Why dont you write them together and read the same vows?
Post # 5
Oh I like that idea!
DH wanted us to write our own vows too. I hate writting so I canabolized several different things to make my vows. Then he decided he wanted to do traditional vows at the ceremony and read our personal vows that evening.
Post # 6
My Fiance wants to do personal vows too & I’m feeling how you are about them. I really want to do traditional vows because even though its been done thousands of times we’ve never done it & thats the only time we’ll ever be able to. I think we might do traditional and then short personal vows right before the I Do. Kind of mix them together, not exactly sure though havent gotten that far in planning
Post # 7
Personally I prefer fairly traditional vows. Maybe you could compromise by doing traditional vows, and then he can make a big speech at the reception? That’s kind of what we did. We’re both good with public speaking, but I didn’t really prepare anything to say at the reception, and then he spoke and had this super sweet metaphor.
Also, by the way, we ended our vows with “this I solemnly swear” 😛
Post # 8
I feel like your post is me 9 months ago. I was freaking out and my husband sounds just like your fiance- well spoken, great at speeches. I ended up writing my own vows as well but I didn’t speak into the microphone. So, no one heard me except for my husband. It probably looked ridiculous, but I don’t care.
Let him write his own and you can decide what you want to do. I found a lot of poems and untraditional vows that I think would have worked just fine if I decided to go that route.
Post # 9
Maybe find a poem that speaks to your relationship, and build the vows around that?
Post # 10
lol I know exactly how you feel! luckily, husband and I were in the same page and would’ve fist bump instead of writing our vows if necessary lol. We ended up with just whatever the minister had, you know, the for richer for poorer thing.
I think it would be cool though if you also write a funny but sincere vow! This will show people how different you both are, and yet so in love! I think funny vows can be cute! Just be yourself!
Post # 11
ours were a mix. It started with have hold foresaking all others richer poorer sickness health, and then we had a couple sentences of our own. I loved them. For our 1 year I want to get them calligraphed and framed for our house 🙂
Post # 12
I like that. Keep the mic away from me… for all anyone knows there was a glich. Lol.
I solemnly swear???? Yessssss that’s awesome!
I also like the idea of having him do his own little speech thing.
I didn’t know joint vows were a thing…I looked it up and I love that!
Post # 13
Why don’t you guys write them together? You can plan a romantic night at home where you make or order in a nice dinner, and then talk about what marriage means to each of you and what you are promising each other on your wedding day. Then you can work together to write something that captures it.
I personally don’t get the idea of surprise vows. I want to be crystal clear with my guy about what it is we are promising each other when we get married!
Post # 14
You should just write out your vows and read them aloud. That’s my plan. That way you can just read off of your paper, and you won’t feel so nervous. And be a little mushy! It’s a wedding! Don’t let him give you a lovely speech and follow it up with a thumbs up. That would seem pretty cold.
Post # 15
I understand! My husband is beautiful with writing, I suck!!!
Our JOP gave us a few “sample” vows and I used that to kind of figure out the flow and length of our vows. It made it a lot easier because it gave me somewhere to start and guidance throughout the writing. Our JOP also offered to read both of ours and give us suggestions. Mainly so one person wasn’t ten pages and the other person two lines.
We had ours written down and read it off the paper. We both knew we wouldn’t be able to memorize ours.
I did stand back from the mic a little, so no one really heard mine except for my now husband (i pretended to not realize i was too far back;) but i am shy and didn’t want anyone else to hear)