- 8 years ago
Earlier today, I wrote a giant post whining on and on about my financial situation and basically how “woe is me” I’m canceling our wedding due to money.
And I pressed “submit”
And I got an error message.
And my post got deleted.
Maybe it was cathartic to write, but no one needed to read that. My computer blessed me with such a deletion in order to slap me back into reality. I didn’t need to ask the Hive if I needed to meet with a financial planner – I really just needed to call one and make an appointment. Cough up the couple hundy and go for it…
So I did just that. My Fiance and I have had a rough financial year. I was commited to getting married this year for many reasons – but more than anything I’m just ready to be MARRIED to the love of my life. I want a wedding, no doubt – but with our finances yesterday falling into an all-time catastrophe, it was jsut the wake up call that I needed.
So in my Oprah moment of the day – here is what I know for sure:
1) We bought our house too quickly. Now, there is nothing that we can or want to do about that, but the truth is that we should have done the financial planning professionally before we made the biggest purchase of our lives. We were not emotionally or financially prepared, and it’s lead to many fights in the last two years. So here we are with this amazing house that we love – and living paycheck to paycheck.
2) And yet, we are not actually house-poor. Unlike a lot of my friends, we bougth a smaller house in a far out suburb for a reasonable price, after the fall of the market. We can easily afford our place (thus, not house-poor) but we…
3) Live WAY beyond our means. Both my Fiance and I spend money like its going out of style. While we both spend it in different ways, neither of us really do a lot of thinking before we whip out the debit card.
4) We do not have a budget – or any clue how to manage our finances. The oil needs changed? Go to Jiffy Lube on the way home. Don’t like the shirt you’re wearing? Run by the store and buy a new one (I cannto believe I jsut admitted that I do that!) We do not balance a checkbook, we do not pay bills on time, the list goes on and on… We pay hundreds (possibly thousands) of dollars in fees, parking tickets, coffees and snacks a year due to our lack of planning.
5) We do not want to enter our marriage with our finances in chaos. ‘Nuff said.
Frankly, in my rush to the altar I was trying very hard to overlook the fact that we probably can’t pull off even our tiny, $6k wedding in 9 months. I’ve been engaged less than one month, and I already feel like throwing my hands in the air and calling the whole darn thing off (including when yesterday, I was actually considering returning my ring for financial reasons). We know we love each other and want to be married – but getting there shouldn’t be THIS hard.
So has anyone else been through the budgeting with a professional? How have you handled combining finances?
And has anyone called off an actual wedding that was in full planning mode effect and done something drastically different?