(Closed) waht to do about remarrying traditions…

posted 10 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
15 posts

I don’t think in this day and age that it’s required for anyone’s parents to pay for anything, regardless if it’s their first wedding or their tenth. I would wait and see if the groom’s parents offer to pay for something first. If they don’t, the couple mightly gently bring it up, but I don’t think they should outright ask for them to pay for something.

Post # 4
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

It is considered rude to ask for a gift, so my opinion is that they wait until the offer to help is made.

Post # 5
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My husband was married before, and divorced, and has two kids, if that has any bearing on the situation.  I have never been married before.  My parents paid for the majority of the wedding, and his mother offerred to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner.  I don’t think it ever occurred to her not to offer – she’s just happy that he is happy.  (Although he didn’t have a big wedding the first time around, so I don’t think there was an Rehearsal Dinner to pay for.)  We didn’t let her pay, but only because she really can’t easily afford it, whereas we can.

I don’t think its unreasonable to anticipate that the groom’s parents, as long as they are happy about the marriage, would want to help pay for it.  It is probably unreasonable for your friend (the bride) to ask.  But I would assume that it’s reasonable for the groom to ask his own parents if they would be interested in helping out with the cost, or at least in hosting the Rehearsal Dinner.

Although I think what you have to remember in this day and age is that the tradition is that the bride’s family or the groom’s family pays for certain things.  This is traditional mostly because people often used to get married so young that they had no real income or savings.  If you’re not in that situation, it’s also reasonable to think that the responsibility lies at least partly with the groom, as an adult member of his own family.  What normally happens now is that the bride and groom pay for as much as they can afford, and both families help out financially.

Post # 6
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

The man and I aren’t going to ask for any help. This is partially due to my having been married before, but mostly because we feel that we’re old enough to pay for it ourselves. We have good jobs and are responsible enough to pay our own way, so we’d feel uncomfortable asking mommy and daddy for money for a lavish party. If they WANT to contribute, I’m sure they will offer.

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