(Closed) Wait, am I really invited to this wedding? Would you attend?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you attend if you were me?
    Yes : (137 votes)
    93 %
    No : (10 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 32
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If the groom reached out to your Fiance specifically to tell him you’re invited, I think you should take that as fact. So often people treat grooms as ancillary to their own weddings, and like they must not know what’s going on, or be involved in planning at all. I would actually be slightly offended if my Fiance reached out to someone to tell them they were invited and they felt the need to follow-up with me, like his word on our wedding wasn’t good enough. Just my point of view.

    Post # 33
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    almostaudrey:  My reason for having a destination is so that I don’t have to be obligated to invite the mass amounts of people I would have to if I were at home. With a destination, I can streamline the guest list down to the essential people, and actually have the wedding of my dreams, instead of having it massively huge and having to sacrifice things I love to stay in budget. I know A LOT of people that make this decision .  – However I’m just responding to your specific reply to Kikibear. 

    – For this OP -I think it’s pretty obvious you are invited. Up to you if you want to go way out there or not. Sounds expensive for people you barely know. 

    Post # 34
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mink714:  And that’s totally ok! I have nothing against people who are having a destination wedding to limit the guest list and hope you didn’t take it that way; it’s your wedding and absolutely your prerogative to invite whoever you want. You do you, girl! I was just a bit confused that she seemed to be asserting that ALL destination weddings were just an elopement in disguise.

    Post # 36
    860 posts
    Busy bee

    texasgal747:  You are definitely invited! I had to reread this post multiple times because I was seeing STD as “sexually transmitted disease” instead of “save the date” and was very confused, haha 🙂

    Post # 37
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You are definitely over thinking this.

    Post # 38
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Kikibear:  our wedding was a destination wedding (in another place that no one lived including bride and grrom) because no one lived near eachother and having it where we lived or grew up would favor one family over the other. We had it where everyone would travel about the same and we had a normal wedding where we payed for the venue/food/entertainment… 

    I understand if you have a dislike for some destination weddings that require all guests to book a cruise for a week or something, but most destination weddings are just simple weddings where peopel would have to travel no matter what.

    Post # 41
    2853 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    texasgal747:  omg the same exact thing happened to me. He just mentioned it to his freind (groom) who said, oh yah shes invited. They also had a family freind address and send out all the invites and she forgot to put “and guest” on a bunch. I was like, omg I would be freaking out if I was the bride and my guests thought they couldnt have a plus 1! I did go and it was no biggie, as we got the OK from the groom and were confident it was just an oversight.

    The mere thought of trusting someone else to address and send out all my invites w/o reviewing them first is giving me heart palpitations…

    Post # 42
    1662 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am having a big wedding and honestly I did not make an effort to find out who every single cousin of mine is dating or whatever because we are not close and yeah didn’t care to think too much about it. Save-The-Date Cards went out with the general persons name on it and I left it at that.I figure when the invitations go out then I’ll put NAME & guest…It’s a local wedding for most.

    You’re clearly invited. 

    Post # 43
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee

    texasgal747:  I understand that it’s a big deal for her family to be paying for everyone’s accommodations, and maybe you feel a little uncomfortable about accepting such generosity. But honestly, if they can afford to rent a private resort, and they’re comfortable paying for everyone at the wedding, it doesn’t seem like the type of situation where they would have strict limitations on the guest list such that they would exclude someone’s fiance.

    Post # 44
    7903 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    It was a small error in the envelope addressing, and the groom clarified it. I wouldn’t be offended by it. Just proceed with booking your travel if you want to go. 

    Post # 45
    43 posts
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I bet it was just an oopsy!  I did something similar.  FH’s friend was invited to the wedding, but FH forgot to mention this friend was MARRIED so I sent him an invite with no plus one.  I’ve never met the guy, how was I to know?!  So FH had to reach out and tell him of course he could bring his wife, and sorry for the mix-up.  If the STD’s weren’t addressed by someone who knew you I can see where a mistake like that could happen.

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