(Closed) Wait, so do I have to join the church before the wedding? – Unitarian

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@YogaFaerie:  I don’t know about the Unitarians, but it is common practise in all churches to require you to attend regularly before your wedding. In some, they expect you to become a member as well. You do not have to give money.

This is because you are being married under their spiritual guidance, and they want you to take your religious vows seriously. Therefore, they want to be assured that you will continue to attend so that they can minister to you during your marriage. I don’t think that this is at all unreasonable. You get married within a religion because you are relgious… it seems to me to be rather unreasonable to get married for other reasons and then just leave the institution which married you!

Post # 6
495 posts
Helper bee

Just like all Unitarians are different, all Unitarian churches are different. You will definitely have to ask locally what they SPECIFICALLY expect.

In my (Unitarian Universalist) church growing up, I’m pretty sure they only married members or “regulars” who they knew. Some are much more flexible (like rent-a-preachers — they’d marry anyone) and some are less (members only!).

Lots of people hear that Unitarians are open-minded and decide to get married by a minister and never show up in the church again, so I sort of understand it. (And it’s not like becoming members requires you to go to church weekly or donate lots.)

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