Post # 1
Is anyone else confused about how the term elopement seems to be used now? From my understanding it is when a couple, either engaged, or not engaged. Decides to go run away (or run down to the courthouse) without telling anyone and get married. I’m confused by those who say “I’m eloping to suchandsuchisland with my parents and a few close friends, it’s going to be on suchandsuchdate” Isn’t that a small destination wedding? Isn’t a wedding in your home town with a small amount of people a small intimate wedding??? I had a friend say, “No, I’m not having a big wedding. Fiance and I are eloping” I respond, “Oh that sounds sooo nice, how do you think your parents will react?” Their response “Oh they know about it, they’re going to be there at the courthouse with us! And we’re not doing it for another 3 months” Isn’t this just a simple civil/courthouse wedding?????? Are these now called elopements because the wedding industry doesnt understand why anyone would want a small wedding????
I’m so confused.
Post # 3
I’ve noticed this too – the meaning of the word “elope” is becoming diluted. It’s starting to mean “wedding with few or no guests,” quite apart from whether or not secrecy and running away are involved.
Post # 4
I think if its like ok next week whoever whats to come where getting married Id consider that an elopment or if you keep it secret and plan for a little down the road. I think elopment is an excitting idea compared to small and simple which is why people prefer wording it this way.
Post # 5
According to Merriam-Webster (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/elopement)
eloped | elop-ing
Definition of ELOPE
1 : to slip away: ESCAPE <might have mistaken him for … some scarecrow eloped from a cornfield — Washington Irving>
2 a : to run away from one’s husband with a lover
b : to run away secretly with the intention of getting married usually without parental consent
— elope-ment noun
— elop-er noun
Post # 6
One of my best friends once said, “I’m eloping tomorrow,” which cracked me up. She meant that she, her FH, and her parents were planning to go to the courthouse for them to get married, which is hardly running away in secret, since they told everyone from the moment they started planning it… I would classify that as a courthouse wedding, not an elopement. I had to give her a hard time, because we were English majors and she regularly made fun of me for mispronouncing words 🙂
I think the word “elope” sounds so romantic and elegant that people prefer to use it over a term like “courthouse wedding,” so I think that’s why the term is being applied to non-secret weddings these days. The problem I have is that “elopement” connotes secrecy and going against your family’s wishes or behind their backs, so when people say they eloped, I get a whole different idea than a sweet, simple family affair. We really need a more elegant term for a small, non-secretive wedding that your family actually approves of…
Post # 7
@vegempanada: I think the word “elope” sounds so romantic and elegant that people prefer to use it over a term like “courthouse wedding,” … We really need a more elegant term for a small, non-secretive wedding that your family actually approves of…
I agree 100%. I have a friend who eloped, not because it was ‘romantic’ but becuase her family is a bunch of (for a lack of a better word) d-bags. Yes the idea is romantic.. but honestly she hates the fact that she had to keep it a secret and ‘run away’ with her husband. I think this is another reason why it irritates me so much. Trust me, she didn’t want to have to elope. It was the last thing she wanted to do but sometimes families suck. I do think that spur of the moment elopements (due to the stress of a big wedding) can be romantic though.
Post # 8
Yeah I’ve had the same thought. I can see why people would prefer the term elope over “small wedding at the courthouse” or whatever the situation might be though.
Post # 9
@Woodstock: Trust me, she didn’t want to have to elope. It was the last thing she wanted to do but sometimes families suck.
I feel for her, because I am in the same situation. Fiance and I have gone back and forth with the idea of eloping, and while I love that idea, there are some people on his and my side that I don’t want to hurt. Some, I could care less if they get upset. Bleh.
I have often referred to the idea of ‘eloping’ with a few close family members and friends, because if we did that, we would literally tell them minutes before we left and say, “Hey, we’re getting married…like, right now. You coming or not?”. So I still consider it ‘eloping.’
Post # 10
@StefLovesJamie: That does sound like a crappy situation. Hope you find a way to make it work!
Post # 11
I would have to agree with you. I believe your definition of Elopement is correct. What everyone else is calling it, That is a destination wedding!
This is the definition from wikipedia…
To elope, most literally, merely means to run away and to not come back to the point of origination. More specifically, elopement is often used to refer to a marriage conducted in sudden and secretive fashion, usually involving hurried flight away from one’s place of residence together with one’s beloved with the intention of getting married.
Post # 12
@StefLovesJamie: we would literally tell them minutes before we left and say, “Hey, we’re getting married…like, right now. You coming or not?”. So I still consider it ‘eloping.’
I also would consider that eloping.. since you’re essentially running off to get married… with whoever happens to be with you at the time! lol I hope it all works out for you!
Post # 13
@FutureMrs.Drymalla: “What everyone else is calling it, That is a destination wedding!”
Only if you’re going to a destination… My BFF who faux-eloped just went to her hometown courthouse, so it wasn’t very special or vacation-y 🙂
Post # 14
after just reading the word “elope” so many times, it’s starting to not sound like a word at all..
Post # 15
I get irritated by this too! I am eloping this week. Just the two of us, the Justice of the Peace and the photographer. We will tell family and friends afterwards.
When people go to the courthouse with their parents and a couple of friends, it’s an “intimate wedding” but NOT and elopement!
Post # 16
Elopement to me is how you feel. FI and I were going to elope at one point because of particular reasons. Of course everyone was upset because they wouldn’t be a part of our big day. Destination wedding is with a few family members and/or friends.