(Closed) Wait, what did you say? moment.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 33
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My Darling Husband has some friends from his college days who aren’t pigs as such (I find them nice guys and often party with them) but they are looking to sleep around, get drunk, have a good time. They’re basically at a totally diff life stage.

My husband goes away with them maybe once or twice a year, and I really couldn’t worry less. He likes going out and having fun but I have no doubts whatsoever he’d ever cheat on me. 

That being said, he knows I trust him 100% so if he made a joke like your Fiance did he would know I wouldn’t take it seriously. Maybe your Fiance thinks that you are at that stage of trust and comfort and doesn’t realise that these kind of jokes make you doubt?<br /><br />I think you really just need to talk about it

Post # 34
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

I absoutely think this was just a joking reply back to your “joke”. You’re clearly in need of a little heart to heart so have a non joking chat with your SO to get the reassurance you need.

Also, have you seen these dudes in action? I have a lot of male friends who enjoy themselves but believe me, it’s wishing more than anything else. I suspect the weekend will be spent getting drunk, talking crap, and the single ones *trying* to pick up a very distant third.

Oh, and PS – just keep him out of shape and you’ll have no worries 😉 Just joking….

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  Beegritte.
Post # 35
Member
5893 posts
Bee Keeper

“As long as my SO doesn’t take anyone back to the hotel, it is what it is. Go be a good wing man.”

“I think he flirts and parties along with his friends when they get together but I never pinned him as the type who would cross the line”

No, just no. You are trying so hard to sound breezy about it while obviously not okay with it- but you want your SO & his buddies to think of you as Cool Girl, that SO is so lucky to have someone say ‘go be a good wing man’ instead of getting all jealous and possessive and controlling. Meanwhile it’s eating you up inside, more than you’ll even admit to yourself. 

devi514: 

IMO a ‘guys’ weekend is perfectly fine- if it’s simply buddy time. A weekend camping trip. A football game. A sports tournament. A night at the casino. Whatever. But since when do attached men provide ‘wing man’ service for their single buddies? So anything short of bringing a girl back to his hotel room isn’t crossing the line? Attached guys shouldn’t be flirting with other women when their wives or girlfriends aren’t with them. Time with ‘just the guys’ is perfectly okay, but going out with single friends and hitting on women with them- not okay. At least not to me- and no way would I pretend to be okay with this. Please don’t feel that sticking up for yourself and insisting on being treated with respect makes you look insecure and clingy- be secure enough to be honest (including with yourself!) about how this is really making you feel instead of worrying about how you’ll come off to others.

Post # 36
Member
5893 posts
Bee Keeper

p.s. didn’t edit my post right-

re:

devi514:  meant to say that this post (Cool Girl rant from Gone Girl) is it, exactly. Please don’t feel like you have to pretend to be okay with all this.

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