(Closed) Waiting.. ?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Are you waiting until your wedding night to have sex?
    yes : (13 votes)
    23 %
    no : (44 votes)
    77 %
  • Post # 3
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    On my wedding day (night rather) I will have waited probably not more than 3 days since I last took it hard.

    Post # 5
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think it’s important to KNOW what it’s like…

    Either way that isn’t the debate. You’re not better than me (for waiting) and I’m not better than you (for knowing).

    I will tell you what it was like. It hurt, it was uncomfortable and was not in the least glorious pleasure! It was sweet in it’s own right giving it up to a man I loved at the time. But it was no sweet love making like some movies would have you believe. I also bled… everywhere. Nasty.

    That said. EVERY girl has a different experience some claim to not bleed at all, some say it doesn’t hurt in the least.

    But there are a few universals truths and those are:

    you should both be going really slow as he enters

    you should be able to communicate pain and discomfort

    you need to relax <— very important.

    you need to NOT EXPECT fireworks on the first time…

    after that enjoy yourselves.

    Post # 7
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    through the plan out the window. having a plan stresses you out. it also raises your “expectations” of the deed. so I say don’t have a plan… throw the plan away.

    Post # 8
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @vmec: Great expectations..

    OP: also your Darling Husband needs to know that realistically you will not be wanting to do it like bunnies on your Honeymoon

    You’re likely to be sore and he needs to be sensitive to that.

    I say having atleast some light is really important so that you can get comfortable being seen and so that you both know where you’re going.

    Congrats on the waiting =)

    Post # 9
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @vmec:  This is good advice.

    I think it’s really important for people (but women especially because society has a less whacked view of male sexuality) to be comfortable with the choice they’re making.  No matter whether you’re waiting or not, it’s your decision when you’re ready (even if that means that you wait until a couple nights or weeks after your wedding night).

    My first time was kind of lousy.  But I already had a migraine and an upset stomach when we started, so clearly sex wasn’t going to fix that (I was hopeful, but I was also REALLY ready to have sex and wasn’t going to let feeling lousy stop me).  It got better.

    My advice is relax as much as you can and enjoy the process as much as the end result, communicate communicate communicate.  Do not worry about what it’s supposed to feel like or what you’re supposed to do.  Most importantly, lube.  I love lube so much.  Granted, not everyone loves it or needs it like I do, but for your first time, I think it’s great to have on hand.

    Post # 11
    429 posts
    Helper bee

    i voted yes but…um we always seem to slip every couple of month!  o god make it easy on me… nd as for my experince my first time was actully rlly good.  i bled from him fingering me though Too Much Information but yea ..d.w bout it onc yu get it yu always want MORE!!!!

    Post # 12
    10588 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I waited, but we had been intimate for a years before that.  I can’t imagine going from nothing to having sex on the wedding night.  If you haven’t ever seen each other naked, I would recommend not having sex on the wedding night and just get used to each other’s bodies first.  If you do want to go all the way that night, still take things slow and wait until you are warmed up first, natural lubrication is always best.

    The first time it hurt, but I was expecting that because I tampons hurt and I use the slim fits kind.  I was a bit surprised that it hurt the entire time though, I thought it would just be when he entered me.  It wasn’t extremely painful, and closer to the end it did start to feel more pleasurable.  I wasn’t nervous, I was just looking forward to it, even though I knew it was going to hurt a bit.

    Post # 13
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @AB Bride: I agree about not having sex the first night if it’s your first time.  We didn’t wait but I was exhausted so there would be no way to have a romantic like would be needed before my first time.

    Very good advice so far.  Don’t be afraid to use lube, it’s your friend!  It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong, it just is hard to get enough lubrication naturally sometimes.

    Post # 14
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    We waited….over 5 years by the time we got to the wedding night ๐Ÿ™‚ I too had a plan (ok, had thought about it constantly for several years) and for the most part we stuck to it. Nothing fancy, just slipping into something more risque and basically taking our time. Take your time, don’t worry about it being too serious-romanticy. It was more comfortable to me that we were able to laugh and talk to each other.
    We had fooled around a little before the wedding(basically feeling each other up through clothing), but seeing him naked was still a bit…….different.

    For me, I am so glad we waited, it really made it special for us and is a really nice memory. As far as pain, it was a little uncomfortable at first (use lube for sure) but nothing that made me want to stop. Contrary to my friends’ predictions, he lasted much longer than 30 seconds, and we both found our ‘happy’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    It was a little uncomfortable the next two times (which was the next morning and that night because I was impatient and wanted to do it again) and since then has been fine.

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding and waiting – I know it’s not always easy ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 15
    29 posts
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’m not waitng but I’m marrying my first and only. I will say this, the first time was so akward! I do plan on “holding” out on him for a while until the wedding. Congrats on waiting!

    Post # 16
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am not waiting, but I will share my first experience to maybe relax you a bit.  It’s not painful for everyone.  It didn’t hurt, I didn’t bleed, I didn’t feel good either, it was kinda “meh”.  So don’t tense up too much expecting pain because it might not come.  But I wouldn’t expect a fairytale movie type experience either ๐Ÿ™‚

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