hi everyone! Ok so I apologize for the significant delay in my responding… I had tried on 2 different occasions to post via my phone and it would erase EVERYTHING I wrote so I got frustrated and gave up, then all the holidays happened and I was too lazy to pull out my computer to post… but here I am.
So that very night of first posting I had a talk with him land used some of the advice given here, so thank you! Brought up to him again, like someone mentioned to, how when he first talked about engagement a year ago how he said he thought people were together 3-4 years before doing so and I asked if that was how he still felt deep down. He had told me no that it was just what he thought was normal at the time, and also that was just the mindset he had for what he perceived to be a “normal” marrying age range to wait (in your 20s) and he just hadn’t had to think of it much until me.
He then said much of the same things of how time just slipped away from him etc. He said he always had it in his head to propose by Christmas and thought he had plenty of time (though we’ve had a handful of talks in that time period…) A poster on here said something along the lines of your future is yours to decide and have input on, not just him, and I really took that to heart! Explained to him my feelings again, and told him despite all this I really want it to be special and not mechanical. So the hubbub of Thanksgiving happens… and then the first or second week of December he basically tells me he’s already bought the ring, in an effort to cheer me up after a bad day at work. I was elated but also didn’t want to know too much! But I found that gave me great peace, and I no longer felt this intensity. Just knowing he took that step was enough.
It’s weird, we had Christmas morning alone together and I actually was hoping he would NOT propose! I guess because it was his original “deadline” and I wanted it to feel organic. He did not, and I was not disappointed at all. New Years Eve rolls around and I started to feel like maybe he was going to then. He took me out to eat at a favorite place, was extremely upbeat allll day, and talked about how 2019 would be a good year for us. This is what got me to start thinking omg he’s going to do it tonight! The whole “i want you to be my fiance going into 2019” thing maybe. We were watching a movie and made sure to switch over to watch the ball drop at about 5 mins to midnight and he started saying again how 2019 will be better (2018 did suck with some family tragedies and work stress) and reasons he loved me from the way I looked to the way I made him feel. Now, this isn’t crazy unusual for my guy to be sweet and say things like that, but it just seemed extra poetic this time and made me feel GREAT. He gives me this nice romantic kiss at midnight and then…. nothing. Lol ugh In my head I was screaming “that would’ve been the perfect moment!!” But I said nothing.
So… I don’t know what he’s planning. We’ve had no talks since he told me he bought the ring, as I feel peace knowing he has it. In keeping with my own personal desire for a surprise proposal, I’m not going to bring it up again until after Valentine’s Day. But… if he still hasn’t done it by then, then there will be further talks. I’ve talked about before how he freely talks about kids frequently, and he’s always said he “doesn’t want to wait too long.” Well, a close friend of ours who is a few years older is having complications with their pregnancy. It is very sad. This struck a cord in him especially, and he told me he would like to try for a family in the coming year (said this shortly before Christmas.) Well buddy… That puts a lot of things on the to do list this year! I just really want to be able to enjoy an engagement before getting married.
Anyways, sorry it’s so long… I don’t even know if anyone cares about all those details lol But it felt good to write it all out!