Post # 16
Sorry to hear that, I know how hard it is to wait when you are ready to get engaged today! However, I agree that job situation and lack of financial stability makes it harder for guys to actively plan the marriage.
Is this the first time you put some sort of timeline on when you would like to get engaged (by the end of the year)? Or were there any other prior timelines that he didn’t meet? If this is the first time and it seems like he agreed to that, I say you just need to gather all the patience you have and wait until the end of the year – it is only 5 months left! I did the same thing – the only difference was that I said I want to be married by next year and it worked! Try to stay patient and don’t bring up the topic too often. If you are still where you are by the end of the year and depending on job situation, be prepared to have a serious conversation. Until then enjoy your life as boyfirend and girlfriend
Post # 17
txbee17 : Yeah this is the first time. I didn’t really phrase it as getting engaged at the end of the year, I just asked if we could consider the situation again at the end of the year because the job search has been going on for so long. I didn’t want to pressure him. But what if he never gets a full-time job and we never get married? Or it’s 5 more years from now? It kills me to have this complete uncertainty about ever getting engaged.
Post # 18
grackle : I find it odd that you’ve been living together for 3 years and feel so ready to get married yet he is paying for bills with his savings while looking for a job. It doesn’t seem like your are living as a team.
Post # 19
zzar45 : I’m not asking for a wedding without him having a job, i’m completely fine with a long engagement until he gets back on his feet. I’m not sure what living as a team entails when I am already not forcing him to pay for anything, am supporting him during his job search and not nagging him about it, and am trying my hardest to not mention or think about engagement because I don’t want to pressure him. Should I give up entirely on wanting to be engaged? I’m trying to give up on wanting it eventually but it’s difficult.
Post # 20
grackle : I don’t really blame you for wanting to be engaged bee, 4.5 years is a long time. I’ve never really understood the whole “needing to be completely financially stable” before getting married idea, besides of course having enough to comfortably cover the costs of the rings/wedding. I mean, for richer or for poorer right? Neither myself or my new husband have full time jobs at the moment (just moved overseas recently, I am starting a 6 year full-time doctorate university program in September) but finances, or our lack of financial stability while being students, never really mattered to us when considering when to get engaged and married (besides the cost of the wedding of course). Our job statuses do not change the fact that we want to and will spend our lives together. Also I think if you were 35 instead of 25, a lot more of the responses would be in your favour.
All this being said, I think it’s really great that you are both happy to use your grandmother’s ring and have a small wedding, and honestly the end of 2017 isn’t far away! I’m sure it will happen for you soon 🙂
Post # 21
sapphire27 : I never thought financial stability was a necessity either – like you mentioned, “for richer or for poorer”. Besides, there are no guarantees that both parties will stay fully employed for the rest of their lives. Both of our parents were poor college students when they got married. That’s why I sometimes feel like there’s something else here besides his job situation making him unwilling to get engaged. I don’t want to be strung along by someone who doesn’t really want to be with me.