(Closed) Waiting and in need of help

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You move out of wherever you are living now into YOUR OWN apartment.  You build YOUR LIFE.  Then, when he is “ready” you discuss building a life with him.

Post # 4
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@roughtimes88:  Do you think he got “sticker shock” when he saw the price of engagement rings?

Post # 6
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@3xaCharm:  I was going to say the same thing. You can get your own place and take the pressure off of him. You don’t need him to save you from your situation. You need to know how to take control of your own life. Move forward and either he will join you or you will find someone who will. Most importantly, you will not NEED anyone. 

Post # 8
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

Just want to agree with everyone who said to get your own place. Separating the stressful home life from the future engagement might be the best plan, it puts less pressure on him to “save” you when he’s not ready for the commitment of marriage/living together.

 

Post # 9
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

He may have a different idea of what engaged means than you do. Whenever he is ready to talk, try to figure out exactly what he is thinking when he hears the word engagement. I know my boyfriend had a completely different mind set on engagement than me. I was thinking about engagement the way he was thinking about marriage. It’s hard for me to explain, but we just had to communicate about why we felt differently. (And, I was able to get him to see things from my point of view!) Once we came to an agreement we were so happy!

And I also have been annoyed by all the ppl getting engaged around me. Most of them haven’t been with their boyfriend as long as I have! How annoying! It was making me emotional but I’ve kinda gotten used to it now.  

It may take some time to get him to want to talk though. Maybe you both can do something fun together where you don’t even mention getting married or engaged. Make him remember why he fell in love with you!

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