- 5 years ago
This is my first time posting. I just needed to spill my story to see if anyone else if going through the same thing. Any advice or comments are welcome:
My SO and I have been together for almost 3 years (3rd year Anniversary coming up in April). I am in my mid 20s and he is in his mid 30s. My career in stable and going strong, his career used to be strong but was hit hard by the economy as of late- so hard that he decided to go for a career change. Unfortunately, he isn’t sure about which direction he really wants to take the new career into. Its a huge transition period but I’m also feeling a bit like giving up on the prospects of an engagement because it doesn’t feel like he is working that hard to make a positive change. I love him very much and we are very close. We are the kind of couple who doesn’t love anything more than to cook for one another, spend time catching up on our day over a glass of wine, and being right next to eachother. I have been so sure that we would be together, build a life, raise kids, have a warm and happy home, and would always treasure eachother.
However, with the hard times bestowed upon my SO recently, i believe his feelings have changed. He can’t think about anything else except how to get back on his feet. Asking him about it only makes it worse. He freezes like a deer in the headlights, which wasn’t always the case. He doesn’t know if I’m the person he wants to get married to anymore, or if he wants to get married at all. This was very hurtful to hear but I needed to know. (it was a huge blowup between us)
At first, I thought I would let things blow over, wait for him to become more stable, and would see a change. However, now I am beginning to think that i should let him know that I am having a hard time reconciling the fact that he wants to be together but isnt sure if Im the one to pursue marriage with. After 3 years of being in a serious relationship, I might be ready to walk away because I am not sure if any of this will change for the better.
It makes me very, very sad, because I have been so sure about this relationship just until my SO began to be unable to discuss marriage, etc. (He was so, so gung ho about it the first year or so.)
Has anyone else gone through this too?