Post # 1
Wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat as me. I get very few vacation days a year with my job so I have to plan my days off very carefully. My SO knows that my days off from work are limited, but he also wants to go on some big vacations this coming winter.
So when he suggests I use up all my vacation days for the year….I want to scream and say “NO! Because then I’ll have no vacation days left for a honeymoon if/when we get married!” In the past I’ve hemmed and hawed and said that money was an issue. But yesterday I finally said that if wanted to do anything “big” or wedding-ish in 2013, that we should probably hold off on planning vacations for that year. I didn’t want to act like I was setting a deadline or even hinting at a deadline for a wedding date since we aren’t engaged yet – but sometimes a person just gets forced into laying down the law.
Sorry, but I had to vent. I have wedding-itis and so whenever talk comes to spending money or planning on using my vacation days, I automatically think how this would affect a potential wedding. Obviously this doesn’t ever factor into my SO’s thinking!
Post # 3
@cali_cat: I do the same thing. My SO doesn’t understand that my job is different from his so I NEED to plan things ahead of time. Also, anytime he spends a huge amount of money, there’s this voice in the back of my head saying “umm hello.. we need to save for an engagment ring! remember a year ago when you told me that you wanted to get engaged but didn’t have anything saved.. yeah what are we doing here”. Doesn’t seem to factor into my SO’s thinking either. Hopefully things get better! I’m starting to think I may have to lay down the “give me a timeline idea-wise” line here soon. I don’t want to force him into anything, but I am driving myself CRAZY here. Good luck to you!!!! I hope it works out soon!!!!
Post # 4
Yeah, this is so frustrating! I can completely understand where you are coming from. I started my current job about a year ago and I have 2 weeks saved up, but I don’t want to completely cash out my vacation time when we get married next year. He tells me I should take off a day here and there, but I just smile and tell him I’m hoarding my vacation for a very important and well-deserved vacation next year. I think he knows what I’m talking about but I can’t be certain!
I can also relate on the money part of it. My dear SO is fantastic, but saving money is not his best trait. He buys food and beer without really budgeting and in my head I’m screaming “How can you say you are saving up money when you keep buying all this random crap you don’t really have to have!!” If he buys anything big this summer, I’m going to be forced to say something. I’ve been good so far about keeping my mouth shut. But it’s hard!!
Post # 5
@BadaBingBling: Thanks for the good wishes! I’m so glad I found this board so that I have a safe place to vent. I just talked to my SO because I don’t want him to feel like I’m pressuring him, and he said that he would ideally like to be married within the next year and a half! So yay for getting another confirmation of the timeline and yay for having a legit reason to keep him in check when he mentions another week long pricey vacation 😛
@ColoradoGirl: I know – when my SO bought a new tv I kept thinking about what a nice ring he could have bought instead. But we still need to live our lives and can’t deprive ourselves of all fun, right? I just went and spent some money on myself and relaxed a bit on my secret wedding savings account!