(Closed) waiting and waiting!!!!! what to do?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

 Just knowing most 22 year old guys, I don’t think that he is really thinking about marriage at this time.  I also think most guys want to have a steady income, be on their career path and be able to pull their weight plus some easily before they want to get married.  I would have a talk and just ask what he sees in this relationship and if he sees it progressing and in how long he sees living the lifestyle you are wanting from him.  If you are on the same page then I would stay.  If it is wishy washy- I would really think hard about what I wanted.  Good luck!!!

Post # 5
Member
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Waiting is so hard…when I married my first husband he was only 22. I was a little older and thought I was ready for marriage. We weren’t! For some couples it works and and everyone is different. If you want different things although it is hard too I would consider your options. I hope this helps.

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would talk to him and see when he sees himself getting married. Not right now is not a good answer. Is he talking about a year? Two? Another three? Once you have his answer, you can decide if you’re willing to wait that long. 

Post # 8
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@SweetGlitz:  He’s really young. I know you are ready but he is obviously not.

Post # 10
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@SweetGlitz:  I am not sure “fair” is the way to look at it. His age is his age. He will get older and you won’t lose much by waiting a year or two. I think it will work better if he is older, if he marries before he is ready, it might not be the best way to maximize the success of your marriage.

Post # 11
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

It sounds to me like perhaps you are at a different point in your natural life cycle than he is.  He will likely feel the same way you do about things when he is your age, but for right now you are there and he is not.  He’s not ready, it sounds like.

 

Women still have relatively normal reproductive rates up to around 35 so you have almost another decade before you really would have to start considering whether or not you want kids NOW or you can wait or not have any.  I think that it is completely normal to be in your place at your age (wanting kids and marriage) but I also think it is completely normal for him to be in his place at his age. 

 

You should have a conversation with yourself and really figure out if you’re willing to wait until he is ready, knowing that it could easily be another 3-5 years. 

Post # 12
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Most 22 yr old guys do not want to get married, even if he loves you alot. He is in school and has no money, which is understandable since he’s only 22. It will be at least a couple years before he is in any position to get married in the first place – stable job, able to buy a house, thinking about starting a family. If you really love this guy your going to have to wait until he is ready.

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