Post # 1
I have super waiting anxiety. Every time I think about engagement my brain goes “what if it never happens, ever” I have anxiety anyway so its no surprise I’m anxious about this. I dont want to be anxious, I want to be carefree. Beeing carefree seems impossible though, because I care sooo much. I am able to put it out of my mind for weeks or even months and then it pops back into my head and I’m all anxious again. I had a pretty bad meltdown about the whole thing the last week of November. I really got my hopes up when my son told me it was happening for Christmas, then admitted he made it up. So all the feelings of anxiety, frustration, and feeling bad about myself because its never happened came out. It was awful and I’m pretty sure my SO felt terrible which I did not intend. The only positive thing about the meltdown was that now he knows just how important marriage is to me. I know its not happening for Valentines day because SO told me we can do whatever I want for New Years and Valentines day. I’ve been really good about not bringing it up at all since I think I got my point across and more with the melt down. Now I just get to wait and see if he does it. Its excruciating at times. I just want a crystal ball or something I can glance at to know if it will really happen or not. There have been so many hints that its happening but it never freaking happens. I just really want to know for sure if it will really happen or not and I wont believe its going to ever happen until he actually proposes. Thanks for listening bee’s.
Post # 3
@Snuggle: ugh. There was a while in my relationship around the 2-3 year mark when I would have meltdowns every few months. It was the only time my SO would acknowledge I wasn’t happy about something. But he still wouldn’t make it better, so I’d give up on it, tell myself I could deal with it, then have another meltdown 3 months down the road. Here’s hoping he gets it and you get a proposal before another meltdown! Lol
Post # 4
@Snuggle: ((HUGS)) I think this may be a right of passage for us waiting bees but that certainly doesn’t make it feel any better. Do you have a timeline from your SO, sometimes that can be really helpful. I also have anxiety(not just the waiting kind). In my experience about 5 months ago I was on constant meltdown and always upset worrying if it would ever happen. But for the past 3 months I have just been giddy. The anxiety and sad will go away eventually :/ It’s not suitable for everyone but being involved in picking/buying my ring and being told all the details of progress nipped my anxiety right in the bud. Sending my thoughts your way, OP.
Post # 5
@Snuggle: Hold up dear. There are lots of others in the same position. We are waiting hoping it happens soon. I hope he doesn’t make you wait much longer though
Post # 6
@Snuggle: The waiting anxiety is SO HARD! I’m still “waiting” and I remember being in the anxious phase – I had plenty of meltdowns of my own (both privately and in front of SO!). You are definitely not alone though. However, once we started taking actual steps towards getting engaged (ring shopping, talking about how long we’d like to be engaged/when we’d like to get married), a lot of that anxiety went away. So maybe you won’t need a proposal – just some positive action – to start feeling better! Also, taking time away from wedding websites (including the Bee – I’d started to get anxious when I’d see myself moving up the waiting list) and Pinterest helped me calm down some too.
I’d say I’m starting to fall into the “frustrated/impatient” waiting stage right now! He’s working on having my ring custom made and said it should be another 1-2 months before he proposes. Ugh! I just want this phase in our relationship to be over and be engaged already!