Wow! You have NO idea how much better I feel after finding this board! I’ve been “lurking” around here, bookmarking ideas, etc since October 2009!! 🙂
My Boyfriend or Best Friend took me ring shopping in October 2009 – which is why I started crusing around for ideas. However, no ring yet! He wants to make sure it’s a surprise. He’s a romantic! Although, I do have to admit, I’ve gotten rather impatient!! This August, we’ll have lived together for two years – us and our two rescued dogs.
He’s 4 1/2 years younger than me. We used to work together. I was one of his supervisors…so we broke a few rules! He was engaged to his HS sweetheart while still in college. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. (I know a little more about it all than I’d care to know!) I moved back to SoCal after college – thinking I was going to marry my college Boyfriend or Best Friend. Obvoiusly that didn’t work out either! (Current Boyfriend or Best Friend knows little about it.) Anyhow, my point is, we’ve both been in pretty serious relationships before…which is why we both have had our reservations. I’ve tried to tip toe around the topic for awhile. I mean, we’d talk about it a lot. My knee jerk reaction was, “it’s all hypothetical.” That, well, it offended him. I’m much more of a “put your money where your mouth is” person. We’re working on it! 🙂
He wants a short engagement – like 6 mos. He doesn’t want to look at tons of venues and have TOO much time to stress. He wants to get through it quickly and enjoy the day. Over the course of a few weeks, I slowly started planting seeds for him to understand why 6 mos wouldn’t work. Most of my family – by most I mean ALL of my immediate family – are Out of Town. My father, a US citizen, lives overseas and his new wife, who has never left the Philippines before, doesn’t have a visa. Plus, if we’re going to keep costs “under control,” I need time to plan and find ways to cut corners. (especially since we’d probably have to foot the bill for my father and his wife <– just married last year so no, she is not my step mother ) (oh – and she’s a year younger than me…but he’s happy with her and she takes care of him!)
I like to think the seeds have not only been planted but have blossomed beautifully! Over the past 2-3 months, we’ve checked out three venues together (Springfield Banquet Center, The French Estate, and Covina Hills Ranch Estate.) We’ve also discussed budgets. This one, we’re having a little issue with…but…we’re getting there. He’s so sweet in that he wants me to have the wedding of my dreams. He wants it to be this big, grand event. He’s slowly starting to understand that “the wedding of my dreams” is one that 1) we fund on our own (I’m in my early 30’s and he’s in his late 20’s. We both have stable, decent paying jobs.) 2) we don’t go into debt for and 3) doesn’t cost more than my car. (I drive a Hyundai Elantra. After tax, license and interest expense, it’ll cost just shy of $17k.)
OMG! I didn’t tell you about the ring! He took me to Robbins Bros. Didn’t let me or the sales person discuss prices, budgets, NOTHING about costs. (Did I mention that I’m an accountant? Then again…so is he!) See, he knows me well. If he said the budget is x amount, I would say, “Please factor in the cost of the diamond and only show me settings which are at a lower price point.” I am not a label girl and I am quite ignorant about rings. I chose a designer ring thinking the designer name was the name of the setting. I felt HORRIBLE when my gf pointed it out to me. (The conversation was actually a little comic. Girlfriend: Okay so which ring did you like? Me: The Tacori style? Girlfriend: Um, Tacori is a designer with prime ad space in major bridal magazines – NOT a setting style. Me: Oh s**t.) Of course, after realizing what I had done, I was emphasizing even MORE how much just making a commitment made to me…not the ring itself. He’s dead set on getting me that ring though. He says, “I want you to see that ring everyday and know how much you mean to me and how much I love you.” It is a stunnig ring. However, right now, I HATE IT! It’s too expensive and, from our discussions, it seems that the cost of the stupid thing is what is holding up the process!! ARGH! <– expressed in the nicest, sweetest way possible! I do commend him though on wanting to have it all paid off BEFORE proposing. He’s is an amazing, incredible guy. I would be extremely lucky to spend the rest of my life with him! He puts up with me. 🙂
Okay – sorry for the novel!! It’s nice to meet all of you!! I’m just another (im)patiently waiting bee.