(Closed) Waiting bees contributing to their e-ring?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I personally did not pay for my own ring. I am buying his ring. I really think it takes the fun out of getting engaged by picking out and helping pay for your own ring. But that being said, it is wise to be practical too. Since you too are both suffering from the economy, there is nothing wrong with being practical and helping him out.

Post # 4
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i’m already engaged, but i would have NEVER considered chipping in for my own e-ring. NEVER.

Post # 5
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didn’t help pay for my e-ring. But I think I will buy my own wedding band, or at least pay for part of it, if I choose to have one. I originally told my fiance I only wanted the 1 ring, but now I’m considering adding a band.

There’s nothing wrong with splitting the cost. I’ve heard of a lot of couples splitting the cost for all the rings (the e-ring and both wedding bands).

Post # 6
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

whatever you are comfortable with. don’t let other people tell you what romantic is. sounds modern to me 🙂

 

 

Post # 7
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would never help pay for my own ring. I think some things are best left to tradition. I could understand splitting the cost of the wedding bands, since by that time you two are “in it” together. But the engagement ring is supposed to be what he asks you with– if you’ve already paid for half of it, what’s even the point of a proposal? Of course you will say yes- you helped buy the ring! I just think it is practical to the point of killing the romance of an engagment. Don’t do it.

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t contribute to my ring. I probably would have considered it, if money was tight and I really wanted a ring. But I told him I didn’t need an engagement ring, I just wanted to be married to him. He wanted to buy me one and I think it was important to him that he paid for it. We keep some of our money separate and he has good savings from a couple of property sales (which I wasn’t involved in) so it made sense for us financially too. I did buy him an engagement present though, but I don’t think I would have if I’d contributed to my own ring! I think it’s about whatever works for you as a couple and it sounds like you guys are on the right track for a wonderful marriage 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Engagement rings don’t have to be really expensive.  I would let him pay for it but that is just my opinion.

Post # 10
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

I love the maturity and modernity of your decision to chip in for the e-ring together 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Honestly, I would if I had any money. Finances is what is holding us back right now because I have yet to find a job after graduating from grad school. If I had the money and it would speed up the process, I’d do it in a heartbeat. As long as you are comfortable with it, I don’t see what the problem is. A lot of couples these days mutually agree to get married so the proposal is more of a formality than anything, so I don’t understand why a woman cant help pay for her ring. Plus, it’s not like people go around announcing who paid for what, so as long as you are both ok with it, do it!

Post # 12
Member
14443 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why not?  At the end of the if you guys are getting married, your money is his, his money is yours.

I did not want to help with picking mine out cause it woulda taken the surprise and romance out of it.  (Even though I blasted him with links and styles I liked, I still had NO clue when it was coming).  So no, I would not help buy it up front, but say he charged it, then proposed with in that month and needed some help paying for it, I probably would for the reason stated in the first line.  I sort of did in the end help pay for it since I bought all of our vacation flights this year, and just gave him a hefty amount of money probably equal to the cost of my ring to put into his investment account….. its all pretty much OUR pool of money at this point.

Post # 13
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I totally helped pick out my e-ring. I had a very particular style that I loved and wanted and would have been disappointed if I got something different (not that I wouldn’t have loved it, it just wouldn’t have been what I wanted). My Fiance and I looked for ages, but then we stopped for awhile because we just weren’t ready to actually get engaged (I wanted to wait until we had been dating a year… I’m weird). Then he went out looking on his own, and then showed me some websites of where he had gone. I did pick out the ring that I got but I didn’t know that it was one that he was considering. It was just from one of the designers he looked at. I knew when he bought it but I didn’t know when he picked it up and I didn’t know that he was going to propose the day he did, so it was still a surprise. But seriously, I mean, if you *know* he’s going to propose, then it’s already not a surprise because, well, you know! But I did like that I wasn’t exactly “expecting” it right when he did it so it still made it fun. And I LOVE the ring he picked. There were 2 that I apparently picked that he also liked and he had to decide which one to get me. He was so nervous! Haha. But I didn’t help pay for it, mostly because it wasn’t necessary. But our wedding rings are coming out of our overall wedding budget. 

Post # 14
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We both contributed to the joint savings account which is being used to purchase my e-ring, so yes, I helped pay for it. And honestly I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with it any other way. First off, at the time we decided we wanted to start saving for a ring I made more money than him. I didn’t think it would be fair to ask him to contribute jointly to our living expenses (which he was doing and I set the standard for as he moved in with me) and save for a ring having NO money left over to enjoy himself. Yes, the truth is he could have bought something simple and I would have married him, but because we both saved we are getting a ring made that I LOVE and I can’t wait to wear it. Finally, for me, it means so much that this is the first major purchase we are making together. We saved, shopped and decided on it together. Once it is ready he still plans to propose and that will be a surprise. But I’m glad we made all the decisions together, including the one that we wanted to get engaged/married.

P.S. Life has changed a lot since we started saving (only 8 months ago). I lost my job, he took another and is supporting me while I finish school and go to grad school. So…if part of buying a ring is supposed to show he can financially afford to take care of me – while, I don’t need the ring to show that, he’s already doing it.

Post # 15
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s an interesting thought. I guess I’m fairly traditional in this aspect. I really wanted to get engaged when my fiance was ready enough to decide on his own that he wanted to take the step forward to plan a wedding, save up enough money to get me a nice symbol of that step, and execute a proposal. Yes, that took a while, but it was so worth it to receive that gift and proposal that he had completely planned himself. I would have just felt weird if we had bought the ring together–to me, it would have felt like I cheated him out of that rite of passage and that opportunity to plan such a sweet surprise for me. I know he wouldn’t have been down for me picking out a ring, let alone paying for it.

Post # 16
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I tried to be in the middle. We went shopping together, but at the end of the day, I had no idea which ring he would eventually pick out. I had never even been to the jeweler he eventually went to and I hadn’t ever looked, in person, at the designer he chose. I looked at the pictures of rings on a website, but he didn’t say which ones he liked – I just pointed at what I liked and let him decide from there. So it was sort of mutual, yet when I opened the box, I had no idea what would be inside. I liked the way we did it. He was such a nervous wreck even with me helping! I can’t imagine what it would have been like if he’d been left to his own devices.

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