(Closed) Waiting Bees! How do you do it? (Come keep me company!)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I understand your pain! Waiting can be very tough, especially when the problem is money. Have you thought about using a temporary stand-in ring until you and your boyfriend are more financially stable? That might be a good solution rather than waiting for him to be able to afford the “perfect” ring. And to be honest, if he is $70,000 in debt (and that is a LOT) you might be waiting a long, long time. 

And wow, that is rude of his mom taking pictures without you “just in case.” There are tactful ways to accoplish that without making you feel bad about your relationship! 

Post # 6
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

@kayberry:  I agree, that does suck.  Thankfully, when my cousin got married last fall they allowed SO to be in the family photo of us (I think it may have been because we were together for close to 1.5 years before my cousin and his wife started dating).  That made me really happy.

BUT, I’ve heard since last Canada Day weekend (July 1st) that his family is going on a cruise this Christmas and it’s only going to be familly invited.  This is despite the fact that we will have been together for 4.5 years at that point and have spent Christmas together since 2009!  SO has said that he wonders if its because they’d have to invite his little sister’s boyfriend as well (we’ve been together 2 years longer! They’ll only be barely 17 FFS!!).  Plus, both his parents and grandparents who are going would have been married 3+ years after being together 4.5 years, so it sucks that they don’t sympathize with this more.  SO has said he has something he wants to talk to me about when I see him next week for reading week (we’re also LD) and I’m trying not to get my hopes up that maybe this has changed.

I hate feeling like I’m not entirely good enough because I’m waiting and I hate that others have to deal with this, but I’m glad I’m not alone.

Post # 9
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

@kayberry:  Thanks. =)

Yay, I didn’t realize you were another Canada bee.  I’m also in university and my birthday is on the 20th too (but in September).  My father also has a history of acting like a bit of a child sometimes too, I hope yours starts being more accepting of you two.  I also hope things go well with your SO paying down debt so you can start planning your life together soon.

That’s good to hear that your SO’s family is usually good.  Mine are too, which is why this surprised me.  At least when we finally do get MILs, we won’t have to worry too much about the evil Mother-In-Law stereotype. 

Post # 11
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

@kayberry:  I’m a 3rd year history major with a psych minor.  I plan to go to teacher’s college in the fall of 2013, hopefully to teach high school.  SO graduated a couple weeks ago and will (hopefully) be a certified paramedic after his board exam on Wednesday. *fingers crossed*  What are you studying?

Ah, personality problems in a father figure.  My father has one of the worst tempers I’ve ever seen and is convinced he’s always right.  We aren’t close at all either, so I don’t plan on having him walk me down the aisle.  I know both my parents want to and I don’t know how to break it to them if I decide to walk down alone or with just my mother.   Ugh.  I’m even more worried about if I decide not to invite his side of the family, because of the way my sister and I have been treated.  I realllly don’t want to have to deal with that.

Even though I don’t agree with everything SO’s parents do (his youngest sister is spoiled and both of his sisters doon’t have as much expected of them as he does), it’s nice that SO’s parents are so welcoming.  Plus, the fact that they’re still so happy after nearly 26 years of marriage, 27 years togther total, is encouraging.  I hope to still be as excited as they are 23 years in the future.

Post # 14
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

It’s so hard calling him my “boyfriend” when I don’t feel that term comes close to expressing how I feel about him.

^^ I say this on a daily basis to all of my friends, on the bee, to my family, etc. Saying “my boyfriend” feels juvenile. On a scale of 1-10 of in love, boyfriend is on like a 2-3 hahaha. But you know?? I know you do because I could’ve written your post myself. It’s hard. And I’m getting impatient ONLY because the idea of the excitment is just sooo much and i’m so anxious. We had 2.5 years under our belt right now and have lived together for 1.5 of that time…I don’t know which is worse for the waiting situation…being LD or living together haha. Either way…just try to be patient. You guys love eachother and will spend the rest of your lives together πŸ™‚ I know it’s hard seeing everyone getting engaged around you and it makes you want it that much more. It will happen!! πŸ™‚ Im still waiting haha but staying positive is the ONLY way to not loose your sanity and let the crazy out. 

Post # 16
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

@MissTX:  @kayberry:  I totally agree about the “boyfreind” thing.  I think people don’t take my relationship with SO as seriously when I have to call him my boyfriend, especially because we’re only 20 & 21.  I hate having to call him the same thing as people who have only been with their boyfriend for a couple months… it’s been nearly four years for Pete’s sake!  We aren’t financially stable enough to get married yet, but being able to call him my fiance sure would be nice!

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