(Closed) Waiting Bees: The signs are there…. but nothing?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know the feeling!!

-My OH calls me wifey and we have known we would get married from the day we met it really was true love at first sight however corny that sounds. We constantly talk about marriage, we plan little bits here and now like colour schemes, who to invite that sort of thing but im still waiting after 2 years =/ granted i have a timeline of until september 12th this year but it still drives me mad!!

The worst part was going to a themepark and the photographer and the people on the amusements kept shouting us over and saying if we dont win a prize etc the wife can have one anyway. cheap tactics on their part but made me feel terrible i just want him to ask already!!


Have you asked your guy how long roughly until he pops the question? i couldnt survive without my timeline (dramatic yes but eh well thats me) 


*fingers crossed it will happen for you soon*

Post # 4
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We talked.  Just honestly and openly talked.  Men aren’t mind readers, so you can’t assume he gets how you’re feeling.  I’ve been married before, and when I first started dating my fiance, I was pretty solidly in the camp of ‘never marrying again’.  I actually had to sit down with him and say that marriage means something to me, that it’s something I want and I needed to know where he stood.  Once he knew it was actually important to me, he started thinking about it and now we have a wedding date. 

Be upfront, to the point and don’t push for immediate answers.  Most men aren’t great with hints or subtlety.  Just be prepared that the answer might not be what you want or what you’re expecting…seriously, I told him about a year and a half into our relationship that I wanted us to move in together at some point.  He said he needed to think about things.  The next day, he informed me that he would be moving in the following weekend.  I facepalmed.  Worked out though ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Yep… signs and no action, that’s us alright!

My boyfriend talks about having children and wanting to get married, says our cat (she was mine but now we live together so its ours) is our furrie baby.

Says he wants our children to have my eyes…

Take romantic trips sometimes, and says he has a surprise for me (and ends up being something else).

His parents like me, and my parents just love him! We even took a vacation together, with his parents (a week in croatia… with all those incredible beachs and views, but still nothing).

So hey… when I talked to him about it, he just said then never crossed his mind, that he thinks he’s too young, even if we have been together or 8 years.


Post # 6
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m in the exact same situation! My bf and I have been together for about two years now (and three years prior to that, dated for a year). He always calls me his wife and talks about us having kids and planning our wedding. We also live together. 

In fact, he’s been starting up so much wedding talk recently that I decided to show him the ring I wanted. When I told him to pop by the computer, he goes, “you know that’s not happening for a while.” This is coming from the man who is planning our current vacation down south so we can check out the resort for our future destination wedding…his idea!!!

I don’t get it…

Post # 7
3 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014


Post # 8
917 posts
Busy bee

Talk to him, but don’t come across as though you’re nagging or pressuring him. If you two talk about it every now and then, perhaps ask him when he realistically sees it happening and discuss a rough time line. I’ve done this with my SO and he surprised me on the weekend by taking me to the jewellers and discussing the design of the engagement ring and asked me a budget I’d be happy with for the ring. Try talking with him, good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
1069 posts
Bumble bee

All signs no action is the story of my life right now and the past year or so. You’re definitely not alone!

Have you talked to him about this?

Post # 10
150 posts
Blushing bee


I will tell you one thing to both ease the disappointment (if it doesn’t happen) and to make the proposal be so much more amazing (if it does!): DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING.


From personal experience, my SO felt extremely crushed that I was only be expecting a proposal out of him this past Christmas/New Year/V-Day. Obviously that made me feel like a the biggest bee-yotch too when this was the first holiday season we were able to spend together after 5 years. So honestly, just be grateful for everything you’re  getting to do together, and let that proposal come as the icing on the cake ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We’ve been together for 7 1/2 years and since day one, even though this sounds super mooshy and corny, we knew we’d be together and get married. I don’t know how, but we just knew. That said, we’ve since bought a house, adopted a dog, and all of our finances are already meshed together. Everybody says, “You’re pretty much married anyway,” but nothing happened for a long time. After a while of planning out tidbits like colors, who to invite, what kind of venue, when we’d like to get married, etc., I started to get antsy and a little depressed about it. All I could do was worry about why he wouldn’t ask me. He talked about it with me, but never did anything about it.

Eventually, I broke down into hysterics (probably not the best way to approach the topic, but it was “that” time of the month, so I couldn’t help it) and asked him what was wrong with me that he never wanted to move on from this step. “What, am I always just going to be the ‘girlfriend,’ because you don’t care about getting married and actually doing something about it?” That kind of talk. Turned out he wanted to make sure I got the ring I adored and a proposal that was well-planned and something he and I both would be happy with. He ordered the ring last week, but he keeps on saying, “Well, you know, you’re not getting it. I’m hiding it until I’m ready.” SOOOO, that said, you’re not alone. =] Don’t worry too much. A lot of times it’s either because A. the guy isn’t aware of how very important moving forward is to you — to them, it’s often not as big of a rush/big of a deal, and B. they’re planning an agenda in their own way.

The waiting game does suck, though. =[

Post # 12
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@NinjaWings:  +1 about avoiding disappointment. I amped myself up so much over the holidays hoping it was coming (we looked at rings, he knew which one I liked, so I thought it was natural to follow that he’d ask me soon) and it didn’t happen. I allowed myself to get so excited over it that not getting the proposal crushed me. I set myself for disappointment. I also hurt his feelings by being depressed about it, and suddenly realized that as antsy as I am about it, I HAVE TO RELAX. Easier said than done. Haha.

Post # 13
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This was (is?) me for sure. My boy and I had been talking about kids, livelihood, the whole nine yards. We moved to the same city for grad school. We had literally decided that this was “it” – but no proposal. I finally got the courage to up and ask him, and it turned out that:

a- I had at one point said something about “not being ready” for him to propose (I think this was last year, and what I meant was that I wanted some warning beforehand!), and

b – In Guy Brain Language, knowing you want to spend your life with someone and actually buying a ring and asking her to do it are apparently two vastly different things. He had decided what direction to take his (our) life in, he just hadn’t actually started GOING yet, and this took a lot of introspection/working on himself to set right, apparently.


So once I clarified point a, and after a few weeks of him dealing with point b, he started asking me questions like whether I’d be okay with his mother’s diamond or if I’d rather have a new one. Mind you, him having a ring in mind does not equal me getting one, so I don’t want to jinx myself here – it could take some more time. But at least I feel like we were honest with each other!

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