(Closed) Waiting Bees! Why do you not propose yourself?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
28 posts
Newbee

my boyfriend and I have been together for years and have lived together for years but are quite young and i’m in grad school, so I don’t blame him for waiting, however I’ve decided if he doesn’t ask by new years im going to do it:P We’ve talked about marriage and know its what we both want, I htink he’s just waiting for the right time in our lives for the “engagement” part. 

Post # 48
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I bought him an engagement ring and told myself that if I couldn’t wait any longer then I would propose to him. His ring arrived in the mail the day after he proposed, so I counter-proposed 😉 I liked it better this way ultimately.

Post # 49
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Because he’s not ready, and he would say no. That’s the long and short of it.

Post # 50
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

We talked about marriage, which is what I think a lot of couples do but I really wanted him to let me know he was truly ready by asking me. I let him know that I was ready through those conversations.

It happened, however, that he was really starting to push me about getting a house together, and I told him emphatically that I would not do it without a formal commitment.  I.e. engagement.

We wrangled with that for quite a while and even didn’t speak for a week but once we opened another conversation and he realized I wasn’t asking to get married next weekend, I just wanted the commitment, he was fine with making it official.

After that it was months before we set a date, and in the end we ended up marrying a year before we planned. I think the main part for him was he didn’t want to feel forced, and I didn’t want him to be forced. It has to be mutual or it’s no good.

Post # 51
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

Men and women are different. Example?The weddingbee is probably 99% women. That’s not a coincidence. 

I would NEVER propose to my man for a variety of reasons but mainly it’s because I don’t see it as my role or place to do. I see it as masculine energy. Just keeping it all the way real. So yeah, he will do the asking and I will decide if I want to say yes.

Post # 52
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t proposed because my guy has explicitly said he would not be okay with this. 

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