Post # 1
Wow did I just officially ruined it!?? We do not have issues other than the whole you-know-what. Anyway what happened was, I have been giving him a less than desirable attitude lately. I get irritable and grumpy easily and I make snarky comments like “Well you’re making me wait” at every chance I get. It’s bad, I know, and I feel terrible about it but I can’t help it. It’s like I’m holding a grudge and am bitter… Not pretty. Bf of course has noticed my attitude but has been patient for a while I guess. I knew my snarky remarks and bitchy attitude are ruining it so I tried to express my feelings (why I have such worries and anxiety) because I think I should share. He doesn’t seem to understand where I’m coming from, why I feel the need to constantly bring it up when HE thought we have settled and agreed, why can’t I just relax. He’s already promised and agreed with the plans. Besides, it’s not like I need to get engaged right now or by next month.
Last night I had to talk (on the phone) to him about my recent attitude because I thought it would make me feel better. He had a bad day with 2 crappy things happened to him. Aparently my talk made his day worse. He listened to me and tried to comfort me but at the end as I felt better he felt miserable. He said he already had a bad day and now he’s more miserable. Normally I SHOULD know an appropriate timing to have certain conversation. I know I made a bad choice to bring it up that time. Well now it’s done and he probably doesn’t even want to see me this weekend or ever. I was supposed to help him with something but he said I don’t have to.
Well I apologized for making his day worse already. Sigh.
What the hell am I doing? I’m old enough to know stuff and do stuff better.
Have you any advice?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
My only advice is to put yourself in his shoes, and to keep yourself busy. Stop all talk of “you know what” and just go out and have fun and be the girl he fell in love with in the first place. It’s SO hard not to say anything, but it’s worth it to just relax about it and know that it will happen if it’s supposed to.
Post # 4
Don’t assume. Ask. If you assume you can make more mistakes.
Its a delicate situation (waiting) and everyone has a different reaction and situation.
I hink based on what you said, he knows what you think so let him remain incontrol and do your best to stay quiet. Think of it this way: AS much as you want it, you want it to be a surpirse.
Post # 5
no advice- I have done this myself as well and I know “it is coming” gets old. Just try to get a grip on yourself. He doesn’t want to see you this weekend you say, then take some time to be by yourself and remember what about him makes you happy in this relationship. No one wants to get engaged when they are miserable. You have to recapture that happiness for the both of you so that getting engaged (and the happiniess) is natural and not forced.
Waiting SUCKS- it is like ridiculous torture, I don’t get why men put us through it BUT you have to remember also that a proposal is their time to shine and also takes time to prepare/save for. They can’t make rings pop out of thin air and since your guy already told you there is a plan, try your best to stick to it. In the long run you want to be happily with him.
Post # 6
Guess that was advice- we are supporting you girly!!!
Post # 7
@gramgeek: I truly understand what you’re experiencing, so you are not alone in this! It’s amazing how even knowing that an engagement WILL happen soon and having a promise from our men doesn’t seem to be enough to calm are anxieties at times. So, I’ve come to a conclusion: we won’t truly be satisifed until we are actually engaged, and no promise or sweet words from our SOs will soothe our hearts and minds- for long.
Knowing this, I’ve come to realize that bringing up this topic after the man has already made a promise doesn’t really help us, or the relationship for that matter. In fact, it might just make things a bit more tense. Now, it’s perfectly fine to bring it up sometimes but once we have that assurance that it WILL happen, then it’s best to wait it out. I know it’s so difficult to wait, but do your best to focus on the NOW. And remember that one day you will look back on this time and wish you didn’t stress so much about it. When I think about that it always makes me feel calmer.
Best of luck to you!
Post # 8
Got no real advice but hugs ((hugs))
Post # 9
Thank you very much for your encouragement and a kick in the butt. It’s really great to know that I’m not alone and everyone else can be as crazy as me sometimes… Thanks waiting board is great.
Post # 10
I know how you feel, I was doing the same thing. I agree with sherryberry’s advice.