(Closed) Waiting bitterness ruining it and more

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

My only advice is to put yourself in his shoes, and to keep yourself busy. Stop all talk of “you know what” and just go out and have fun and be the girl he fell in love with in the first place. It’s SO hard not to say anything, but it’s worth it to just relax about it and know that it will happen if it’s supposed to.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Don’t assume. Ask. If you assume you can make more mistakes.

Its a delicate situation (waiting) and everyone has a different reaction and situation.

I hink based on what you said, he knows what you think so let him remain incontrol and do your best to stay quiet. Think of it this way: AS much as you want it, you want it to be a surpirse.

Post # 5
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

no advice- I have done this myself as well and I know “it is coming” gets old. Just try to get a grip on yourself. He doesn’t want to see you this weekend you say, then take some time to be by yourself and remember what about him makes you happy in this relationship. No one wants to get engaged when they are miserable. You have to recapture that happiness for the both of you so that getting engaged (and the happiniess) is natural and not forced.

Waiting SUCKS- it is like ridiculous torture, I don’t get why men put us through it BUT you have to remember also that a proposal is their time to shine and also takes time to prepare/save for. They can’t make rings pop out of thin air and since your guy already told you there is a plan, try your best to stick to it. In the long run you want to be happily with him.

Post # 6
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

Guess that was advice- we are supporting you girly!!!

Post # 7
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@gramgeek: I truly understand what you’re experiencing, so you are not alone in this! It’s amazing how even knowing that an engagement WILL happen soon and having a promise from our men doesn’t seem to be enough to calm are anxieties at times.  So, I’ve come to a conclusion: we won’t truly be satisifed until we are actually engaged, and no promise or sweet words from our SOs will soothe our hearts and minds- for long. 

Knowing this, I’ve come to realize that bringing up this topic after the man has already made a promise doesn’t really help us, or the relationship for that matter.  In fact, it might just make things a bit more tense.  Now, it’s perfectly fine to bring it up sometimes but once we have that assurance that it WILL happen, then it’s best to wait it out.  I know it’s so difficult to wait, but do your best to focus on the NOW.  And remember that one day you will look back on this time and wish you didn’t stress so much about it.  When I think about that it always makes me feel calmer. 

Best of luck to you!

Post # 8
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Got no real advice but hugs ((hugs)) Cry

Post # 10
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

I know how you feel, I was doing the same thing. I agree with sherryberry’s advice.

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